(Guess I'm not really quitting?? Looks like I still have a lot of sentiments I need to express. I've decided that I'll only journal when I want to, and that I'll only make them public if they can help others.)
I was around eleven years old when I first started questioning and doubting the beliefs instilled into me about God. This journal entry is not about the reason why I am agnostic; rather, it is about the state of my mental health after hiding this information from my parents for so long.
With that being said, how am I? I would like to think I am in the best place I have ever been in my entire life because of what happened last January when I finally started taking control over my life and living how I wanted to. However, I am still not in my theoretical best place because there is still one important aspect of my life I would like to change, religion.
I am debating with myself whether or not I should tell my parents I am agnostic tomorrow - tomorrow also happens to be my birthday. (Wooo, I did not plan for that :P.) Here are the reasons for why I maybe should not tell them:
Here are the reasons for why I maybe should tell them:
There is also the question of "Should I change schools?" if I do decide to say I am agnostic because I am currently enrolled in a Catholic school. Sadly, I do not think I should because: 1.) I have been in my current school since kinder, and I have made so many great friends along the way. 2.) Most "good" schools in the Philippines are Catholic because almost 90% of Filipinos are Catholic. And, 3.) It just seems very complicated and unfeasible to do so.
After reading through the whole journal entry, the prospect of telling them now does not seem too bad actually; however, I am still in the process of figuring how and when to tell them. Plus, there are still questions like: Is it a good idea to tell them on my birthday? Is it a bad idea to tell them during Christmas? With all the context I have given, should I tell them or not?
Hopefully, those in similar circumstances who see this might somehow learn something from my journal entry. I am still very much troubled about this, so I would appreciate any comment. Be kind and keep striving!
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