Jan. 5, 2021

Forbidden Love (Dream)

Keeping up a smile, straining to play along with those that I used to believe were my friends for they were at another time. I still feel the need to stay with them, but my heart is with another that pulls me in the opposite direction than what I thought was my path. Here I walk with my past, keeping up a charade that aches for another. I have to get away, just for a bit, just to see him for a sec, to say hello.

With a smile, I leave them, jogging off into the distance, into a crevice believing that no one would follow me and see that I am fraternizing with the enemy, with the one that makes me weak in the knees, that makes my heart flutter with both excitement and uncertainty. He has been a part of the others, an enemy of mine for so long that it instills me with fear that I am betraying those that were, are a family to me. I know they just would never understand the feelings he gives me. His eyes draw me in and his laughter makes me swoon and want to have him make that beautiful sound again. The way that he speaks is enthralling as he talks knowledgeably about topics that fascinate him, making him shine in excitement and passion. He doesn’t just talk about himself, of course. He reaches out to me, asks about what I enjoy, what I wish in life, asks what he can do to help me find happiness. I just feel so safe with him and his understandings; plus, his advances make me blush and lean in with want for what is both unknown and before an impossible thought.

Here he waits, his eyes averted from my entrance, busy instead looking towards the skylight situated above us. There must have been some rustling that alerted him of my presence for he looked over questioning only to visibly relax both his body and eyes at the sight of me. With a wide smile, I greet him happily before going forward with a hug.

As we enjoy each other’s warmth and touch a shocked gasp startles out, making us tense and release the other. There in the crevice that I exited stood my two friends originally walking with me. They weren’t supposed to follow; they weren’t supposed to see us together. I know they would never understand how I could turn my back on the family for an enemy. I tried to still them from their ignorant anger, rage as to my supposed betrayal, but they just weren't having it, they saw me as nothing but a deceitful betrayer, now an enemy to the family.

Seeing that they were now in pursuit of both our lives, I grab my love’s hand as I ran the other way, dragging him along the mall’s crowded halls. In a whispered shout he suggested we split up, believing that this was one way to cover more ground and lose them more easily as we’ll weave into the crowds and blend in. With a squeeze to his hand, I reluctantly let go and head in the opposite direction. With labored breathing, I frantically look around for anywhere I could run in and hide. There, a club sets up their event, racks of clothing line the area. Quickly, I rush through the racks grabbing a whole new wardrobe to help me blend in with the club members. Shirt, leggings, shorts, I duck down and start slipping out of clothes and into the new ones.

After haphazardly stuffing my old clothes under the rack, I jumped out and slip in one of the club’s lines. My throat burns and my chest feels tight as I try to control my heaving breathing as quickly and quietly as I can. One of the people ask if I am okay, nonchalantly replied that I was late and ran here. Thankfully they bought that as the line continues to get shorter. Feeling safer, I look at the line of which I am now a part of. As I study those before me, it seems to be some sort of chore line, where each person gets assigned something to do. I reach the front, where I am assigned to put away the foods from the feast that apparently happened earlier today. Nodding, I grab the few foods on the table situated in front of me and take them towards the kitchens on the side. While doing this, I try to discreetly look for my friend through the thinning crowd. Nowhere, it seems, somehow, I found a way to get away from his pursuit.

Still, my heart hurts at the thought of them hating me just because of who the heart of mine falls in love with someone that they don’t find favorable. They just don’t understand, I see that and I hate that. They should just ask me why I would choose him, why I would see him as someone other than the enemy. That way I could tell them that he is charming and sweet. I could help them see that he is human too just like them, that they actually have a lot in common and should be fighting anymore for a reason that started many generations ago, it isn’t right to hold an ancestry old hate on those that we don’t even know. There is so much more than hate, the love of friends could be possible if we just put everything behind us. Love is entirely too great to continue to think that life is only full of fights and winning. This is what I thought, what I was brought up to believe before I found him and we talked. Neither one of us knew that the other was a part of the families that have been fighting for a millennium, we just thought that the other was just someone that needed someone to talk to. And that's what we did, we talked, saw each other again and again, laughing and experiencing so much more than just a blossoming friendship. We experienced a love that formed between our hearts from those smiles and closeness. I never thought that someone so passionate, so dorky, so sweet could be a part of a family that I was brought up to believe was nothing but sniveling thieves and murderers. It breaks my heart to know that I used to think such heinous things about those that I never truly knew, that I never thought to even reach out and get to know.

Written by xandraxian

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