Sept. 20, 2021

I felt left behind, however, I realized I have not and am not alone in this journey

Hello. It's been a while since I have typed a journal publicly. Today, I am typing this journal about my overcoming of feeling left behind in life. Possibly this journal may help you and if it is, keep reading!

To top things off, I'm a 22-year-old adult who still lives with my parents while attending University (almost graduating which I can't wait!). I happily own an old, functional 2007 Chevrolet car that was a gift from my grandparents and also work 2 jobs (one for my mother's business and the other a retail store). By working these jobs, I do not regret working for either one of them. Lastly, I enjoy the hobby of playing video games and collecting trading cards. Although I still try to keep in mind the spending habits I have.

In plain sight through my eyes, this is a good lifestyle in my own eyes. But even when I think I have a great life I always have had this feeling of "feeling left behind in life" coming back to haunt me. In fact, it started when I was working a shift for the whole day at a retail store. As a retail associate, I had to consistently fold clothes and make sure everything is organized in the store. In addition, I had to interact with a lot of customers to see if they're doing fine or not. This was where that feeling showed up.

As I kept interacting with customers, I have come to notice that a lot of these customers had seemingly better lifestyles than I do. They have the best clothes, they have a nice boyfriend/girlfriend or friends to hang out with, they seem to have a lot of money to dispose of, and just basically living the best lifestyle. Seeing this, I compared myself to them and that was at that point where I started to feel depressed even at the end of the day. To top it all off, I even looked at my coworkers who seem to happily interact with each other compared to how I interact with them. It was a mess and I somehow felt horrible coming home.

Realizing this, I surfed on YouTube about the feeling of "being left behind." Scrolling through the search results, I came across this video titled, "Feeling left behind in your 20s or in life? Watch this." by Sam Lui. After watching this video, I felt more motivated in myself than ever to not feel left behind after all. In fact, one of the things he explains is happiness. What was interesting is the term he describes as "Affective forecasting" and he describes it as trying to predict your emotional state in the future through something that happens. For example, when you chow down on a cheeseburger, you may feel that your cravings stop, however, you won't take into account how sluggish you'll feel after that. In the end, what he taught about happiness is to not let it be conditional and you have to make a choice every day to be happy with who you are and what you have. Later on, he explains focusing on the process and staying off social media.

Seeing this video made me feel happy and confident that there was more to me than meets the eye. In fact, I'm not the only one with this problem but many others as well. The comments section is evidence of that. But regardless, this helped me feel open-minded about things and to accept that my path is different from other people so I should focus on myself and not worry about others. After this, I feel that I may have a great day tomorrow and possibly feel motivated to do something for myself.

And that's the end of this journal entry in public. Hopefully, those who are reading this and are probably feeling left behind in life will some day feel successful within themselves. You're not alone and you'll find your balance someday!

I recommend watching this video for reference to what I was saying. Maybe watching this may help you feel motivated! Thank you for reading!

~ Asian Nut

Written by AsianNut

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Posted On Oct 01, 2021

I am in my mid 30's and I feel exactly as you described. I am a person with a disability and I have had very little luck in finding a job that is within my capabilities. I found post-secondary school to be too fast-paced for me. Requirements for jobs were asking me to do things at a faster pace than I could not reach. I have come to learn and accept that everyone has a different life and no matter the path you are on it doesn't matter as long as you are healthy and happy. You will get to where you want to be at your own pace and in a way that works for you.

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