10:08 PM
I didn't do much today. I woke up at probably around 3 AM, and just browsed the Internet for most of that time. At around 6 or 7 AM, my dad and I walked outside for an hour just up and down the street. The rest of the day was pretty much more of the same, just me staying at home, browsing the Internet, doing some reading, watching some videos. Really boring.
Oh, I messaged Wahl again this morning after viewing her story that she posted. She last responded to me on Tuesday, and she's returning home from her trip today. So I viewed her story, gave her a compliment, and wished her safe travels back home. The last time I messaged her before this was on Wednesday, so it's been like 5 days since I last messaged her, but I would pretty much be online to view her stories she posts up, and sometimes I would put a like on them. The last message she sent me was that she would be replying to my messages eventually, so that was comforting to receive at least. I really miss talking to her for sure, I really miss her serious and longer replies, and I can't wait to receive them, whenever that is.
Either I sent the friend request, or she added me, but a young woman added me on Facebook recently, and I chat with her for a bit in Spanish. She's really eager to talk to me, writing longer messages and giving me a lot of information about her life even when I don't ask for much. I'm not going to go over what we talked about, like that's rude to write about in a public journal entry, but just platonic friendly stuff, but I think she's into me. I think she was the one that sent me the friend request too, because I've been getting like 5 to 10 friend requests per day lately, like the past week for some reason. Weird.
I am kinda annoyed with Wahl though, like I said I am pretty much already in love with her and fully infatuated by her and fully devoted to her even though we aren’t dating yet, but she does take a long time to respond. I mean she has always responded back with affection after each long delay in replying. Actually like each time we message each other is filled with affection, but I am kinda annoyed still because ugh. My heart. It feels so uncertain whether she likes me or not. I mean it’s kinda obvious she does and we’ve been in mutual agreement planning to meet up for a long time already. But omg, these long delays in replying can get to me sometimes. I just want someone to talk to and connect to and be with, and like it’s been more than a week now since she last responded seriously.
It was on the morning of Friday, August 19th that I sent my last barrage of longer messages to her. In those messages I told her a lot of romantic and loving things, and then she went on a trip shortly after and that was her excuse for not replying back in a long time, on Tuesday she communicated that. And I get it. I think it’s a perfectly valid excuse. I do feel a bit forgotten though. And kinda annoyed. And there’s no way she doesn’t have time to respond back lol. It doesn’t take that long.
But yeah women do this intentionally when a guy shows too much affection for her. It’s so common that there’s guides online, a lot of them, that discuss what to do when this happens. Sometimes they take a few days to more than a week or two to reply back. All these guides are written by men so I have no idea what it actually is like from the woman’s perspective or why Wahl does this. But yeah there could be any reason she’s taking a long time responding back, including losing interest as one of them. Other reasons are more positive like she doesn’t want to appear too eager, she doesn’t want to text when she’s not in the right mood, she is genuinely busy, and she’s testing the guy.
It’s so annoying and manipulative though, I feel. But I can’t do anything about it. If I bring it up or show any signs of negativity, it’s a turn off and causes me to lose some attraction to them. The recommended course of action from all these guides is to just wait it out, no matter how long it takes. It’s fine to message them back during this time of course, there’s no rules to this. But yeah just don’t get upset or show any signs that you’re losing your cool. It’s really annoying and can get to me for sure though.
Obviously I think Wahl is so extremely awesome and amazing and that’s why I am so into her. In her story that I viewed this morning, she was at the beach and she had this towel around her neck covering her body. She put on this hat all cool, gave a nod to the camera, and then moved the towel around to wrap it around her neck like a scarf, to show off her body and abs. She is extremely fit and attractive. I think she is so amazing. Kinda levels beyond me to be honest.
But she thinks I’m really amazing too and that I’m great enough to be her chosen partner. She compliments me as well and assured me of a bunch of things. I am so happy and lucky to have met her, and that she’s considering me to be her lifelong partner. Yeah. We’ve talked about it already.
So I can’t wait for her to reply already. It’s making me so anxious for sure. I am so terrified. I just want to live the best life with her. I am so frustrated. The guides say to just do something else in the meantime. Other reasons women do this is to give their man space to make sure his life doesn’t fully revolve around her. Uh, but I want mine to? I want to dedicate my entire life and all that I am to Wahl.
Ugh. I’m gonna chat with the Spanish woman for a bit. Maybe chat with other women platonically for a bit too. This is just so, ugh.
11:54 PM
Well the chat was going really well until I mentioned Wahl, not by name or anything, but just that I found a potential lifelong partner and how good of a feeling that felt. Then she was like “felicidades!!!!” Which is congratulations and then she said a few more things then went offline. Hmmm… she’s super far away and I wasn’t talking to her for a relationship. But yeah maybe I shouldn’t have alluded to having Wahl? But then I’d feel dishonest.
I guess we chat for an hour or so. I really just like Wahl and can’t get her off my mind. As they say, absence makes the heart grow fonder. It works the opposite way too. The ball is in her court and she’s also absent from me for a while. So her heart has also likely grown fonder for me.
The reason I reply pretty quickly, like usually within a day, is because I get the message notifications and can see what they said and I get anxious myself if I don’t respond back soon. She has 99.99% likely already read through my messages like the same day I sent them probably, and is taking this long to reply back. So she’s also likely feeling some anxiety in what to say and all that.
Also I am way too honest to cheat on anyone. Like it is so easy to. There’s a lot of young single women in my Facebook friends list that I can start messaging and hitting on. None of them that I like more than Wahl though. And I already told Wahl that, I told her that out of everyone I have ever spoken to in my life, that I didn’t like anyone more than her. That’s the kind of romantic stuff I would say, of course that’s just the tip of the iceberg, I make sure all my messages are loving and caring and show my full devotion to her.
Anyway, I trust her of course. I trust her so much. Especially looking through our past chats, like there’s little doubt she's in love with me as much as I am with her.
Anyway that was my day today.