Heart

2:01 PM

My heart. My heartstrings. Omg.

7:50 AM (of Saturday, September 24th 2022)

Today is Friday, September 23rd 2022. Anyway it just gets really emotional at times while I'm waiting for the person I love to get back to me. It's been six days. Sigh. What did I do today? A few things I guess.

I uploaded some new photos to Facebook. I went out to the grocery store twice. I talked to a bunch of people online. I had two meetings today and they were both good, one for Vegpal and the other for Stealth Launch. I emailed some of these new NYC photos to my Stealth Launch clients. I watched anime. I talked with Lia for a while on Instagram. I talked to Don again and he forgave me and added me back on Facebook.

Everyone is so responsive to me except for the one person in the world who's attention I want. Maybe that's what makes her a lot more valuable in my eyes? My heart feels broken and torn at times because taking days to reply to me, I feel like she doesn't want me and doesn't care. Then out of nowhere she gets back to me all warm and loving. It's like a hot and cold game, playing with me emotionally. It makes my life sort of more exciting because I feel so much more emotion due to it than if she wasn't in my life. Omg. I just can't wait until she gets back to me, I don't know what she'll say. I said a bunch more romantic things as always. I always do.

I commissioned Sarah again to ghost write a song for me. This is what I asked her to put down:

"

Let's do the theme of a not quite a long distance relationship, both people are in love with each other but they aren't dating yet because they want to meet up in real life first. But there's always circumstances that happen that keep them from meeting.

It's been 10 months since they first started talking to each other and have been constantly making plans to meet, but there's always something that comes up.

The guy has already planned out the dates to meet at an island and they're to visit some beaches, some waterfalls, some caves and go exploring. There's even a secret romantic spot with a sunset view planned out for their first kiss. The guy shared these details with her and she approved of the plans near the beginning but they still haven't met yet.

They need to get plane tickets to meet but there's always other events going on like a wedding, job interviews, friends inviting them places, a hurricane, and so on that prevents them from meeting.

Also she always takes a few days to reply. The guys is very busy with work. She is very attractive and beautiful.

"

I am putting her name down as Sarah because that is her name, and she's written the lyrics for the past songs, except I did do some editing and modifications for all those songs too of course. I mean I get these things done by other people: lyrics, instrumental music, the singing, and final editing and mixing, but I coordinate and put all these together myself. I am the one that makes the request for what I am looking for and I request for changes or I make those changes myself. So I get some credit, actually I get full credit for everything here because I hire and pay these professionals to do them for me and they willingly give me the credit.

Like I forgot to put down we are both vegan, I forgot to mention we like hiking, that we live pretty close to each other but separated by a sea or ocean.

I don't know if I will be the one singing this song or if I need to hire an actual vocalist to sing it. It would be more personal if I sung it, but then it would suck. My parents tell me that my voice is good though and that I should sing it myself. When I sung that one first song I had, all my family members said it was good. But I thought it was bad. Maybe I will sing it this time and see what kind of reaction I get.

I am madly in love and infatuated with Wahl. I literally want to give her the world, my entire being. I would probably die for her, even though I also probably wouldn't because then I'd feel like some other guy would have her, and I would hate that. What am I to do when the love of my life is being unresponsive? Nothing. I just have to sit back and wait. There's nothing else for me to do. As I write this it's been a week since she last messaged me.

Anyway I guess that was my day today. A very boring and normal day I guess.