Reflection of today
I mostly wasted today too. I guess it's because I didn't have a plan for today, that I just so easily wasted it. I'm going to make a plan for tomorrow, I have to. I don't want to waste tomorrow too.
Today I spent almost every waking moment on entertainment. Sure I had a good time, but I also had a bad time. It was good because my joy and pleasure senses were elevated throughout the day. It was bad because I regret a lot of the valuable time I wasted.
Yeah I could have done some things today, but they were just hard and technical. I wanted to just chill. Actually that's a dumb excuse, I could have done anything today but for some reason didn't.
One good thing though is that I went out cycling today. Just before that, I took a nap and thought about what I would do if I could go back in time. I guess back to my college days, but really any point in the past. A month ago, a year ago, 10 years ago, it doesn't even matter. Wow, I still remember when I would say, 10 years ago, and that meant an age in my single digits. For real. Now when I say 10 years ago, that means an age in my teens, and it doesn't feel that long ago.
I still remember that we all had dreams and aspirations, everyone in all my school grades. What resulted from it? I have searched up some of my classmates from back then, and all of us ended up nowhere. As of now, there's not a single notable alumni I graduated with or went through any school grades with. No one I know became a big shot name, as of now. Who knows, maybe in like 10 years some classmate would have made it, no one knows. All I know is that right now, we are all nobodies including myself. Yet me and many others had big dreams by the time we reached our 20s.
How would I have lived my life differently had I gone back in time? I can seriously cry reminiscing on the past all day. Waaaah lost opportunity here, mistake decision there, waaaaaaaaah.
I woke up from my nap frustrated. You know when you take a nap, there's this weird sense of rapid heartbeat dread that just wakes you up? I don't know if I'm the only one that gets it, but after taking a nap for too long, you just get this massive heartbeat rush telling you to get the F up now, and it feels so weird and weary waking up from that. I can describe it as nostalgic dread or something, it feels like a "save point" in a video game, is how I would describe this feeling. But I basically took a nap and sort of dreamt that I had the ability to go back to these napping save points, just any of them would be fine.
I woke up frustrated because I was still in the present when I woke up. Man I really wanted to time travel back to the past.
Anyway I got on my bike and just bicycled around in a circle for literally almost an hour. It was so boring. I did 8 miles of going round and round and round, and I listened to some audio while cycling slowly. I didn't have a care in the world. There were some cars I could have raced today, but I was like, man what's the point of racing these cars? Needless to say, I wasn't in the mood to race, just wanted to go round and round. I could have raced, but it really drains me quickly when I sprint at 24+ mph going uphill and having 189 heart beats per minute, so I didn't.
There's also this road I can see from my window, and when cyclists pass by I think they go by so fast. I wanted to try it out today, to see how fast I could go by this road I could see from my window. Because whenever I saw cyclists in spandex going by, they just look like they're going at speeds I can't match. Well I tried today, and wow, it was so easy to cycle on this part of the road. I am on the sidewalk path usually, going parallel with this part of the road, and it's much easier on the road than the sidewalk. I probably increased my speed by more than 60% just by going on the road as opposed to the sidewalk.
The reason I went on the road was because it was deserted today. If it were crowded with cars, then I would only be on the sidewalks. Today there were no cars though, or not that many, so I was able to go on this part of the road and pass by my window without fear. Now I realize that if there were other cyclists here, I would be able to keep up with them no problem. It doesn't matter if they were wearing spandex and were professional or whatever, I just feel like I can keep up with anybody.
I did pass by a lot of other cyclists today. Why the heck is everyone so slow man? Everyone moves at a snail pace, like what the heck. Am I just super fast or what? Why am I passing by everyone and climbing hills with such ease? It doesn't even matter if they're like 30 seconds in front of me, I just eventually catch up and pass them. I admit though that no one I have passed so far looked like they were trying. They all looked casual and weren't trying that hard, and I also wasn't trying that hard either, but I still passed them easily.
I can understand moving so slowly if they're on their phone or something, but I am left confused when I pass by people and they're just looking straight ahead with full concentration, and I'm like, what the. How did I just pass you going at my casual speed? My average speed was over 10 mph today, and that was literally casual cycling the entire time. My average heart beats per minute today was I think 134, and my max was 151, and I also spent a good amount of time on the sidewalk today. However, even at 10 mph, I'm passing by people who are moving even slower than that. How do you move slower than 10 mph??
I watched some cyclist sprinting videos yesterday and it was crazy. You might have seen some end of bicycle races, where they are going for the finish line. From the video it doesn't look like they're trying or going that fast, but if you get a zoomed in view on each cyclist, they are all sprinting their hardest. I think they're going 30+ miles in these sprints which is superhuman to me.
Hypothetical Cycling Race
Could I keep up with them? I think if I were just placed at the end of a sprint, like maybe the last mile of a bike race for example, I would be able to win a sprint to the end. I could probably do 30+ mph on a sprint. If these guys can do it at the end of a 2 hour tour, I could probably do it for one minute and win against them at my maximum. Keep in mind they have the handicap of having raced for 2 hours already and are approaching the end, I have the advantage of fresh legs and full energy for the last mile stretch. I think I would win.
Hypothetical Running Race
In running though, let's say I was placed only at the last 100 yards of a marathon. Then here comes a bunch of world record marathon runners running by. If I just had to sprint that last 100 yards, then I think I would win too. Sure against the 2 hour unofficial marathon record, I would have to run faster than 13 mph, which I can for at least 100 yards, and that would be my hardest competition. But for those running 2 hours and 10 minute marathons, I should be able to easily outsprint them to the end, in theory.
Of course professionals run a negative split, meaning they run their fastest in the second half and run a slower initial half, which means they reserve all their strength until the end. So it would still be really hard to sprint against someone like that. Would I win then? Maybe not. But since they do have the disadvantage and I have the advantage, I say I could win, though it's not guaranteed. For the cycling sprint, I'm very confident I would win. For this running sprint, I'm pretty sure I would win but I'm not as confident.
One Good Thing Today
I did one good thing tonight, which I hope results in something good in the future. If this one action I did results in good, then honestly, the rest of the day was spent unwisely, but unwisely in a way that still brought about a good end. We'll see the results of this, if any, in the future. I don't want to write about it at all in case nothing comes of it.
Definitely get what you feel about wasting time. I also spent the Memorial Day weekend not doing much at all, and although it’s satisfying in the moment to be on Instagram or watch YouTube videos, it’s hard to enjoy because of the feeling guilt for not doing anything productive. I would say to just remember that’s it’s okay to sometimes take days where you get to be “lazy” and just enjoy yourself :)
Time travel has always been an interesting concept to me. How amazing it would be to go into the future or go back in time. Thinking about my past and nostalgia usually makes me quite sad, and I also would have so much I would want to change. Despite this, I don’t think I would ever change anything if I had the opportunity. Present me is far from perfect, but everything in the past has molded me into how I am today, and I wouldn’t want to risk changing that, if you know what I mean. I just have to keep remembering that the best time to do anything is now, in the present.
Also, reading about cycling makes me want to learn how to ride a bike haha! It’s crazy that I never really learned how lol
@ducknut Yeah by changing decisions in the past, then you'd end up in a completely different position today. It could be that certain special events that happened in this timeline, wouldn't have happened have you made another decision instead. However, you wouldn't know if there would be even special-er events in that other timeline had you made the decision you wanted.
I also think it's okay to have some lazy days, but I have way too many. I know I'm not doing as much as I can and can do a lot more.
Cycling is a fun but expensive hobby. You could get like a $200 bike from Wal-Mart, and I have had a few bikes from there, but they are in my experience really bad quality and break down fast, but if you're a beginner to cycling you probably wouldn't notice. Maybe the quality has improved over the years too? Anyway cycling is fun, you can travel to new and unknown places that a car cannot reach, but it can be hard, scary, and expensive for a beginner.
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