Ugh!

SO MUCH POOR PITIFUL ME! Just glancing back over my last few entries (some of which I kept private, so this may seem an odd entry out of full context), ugh! I really must start putting more effort into re-presenting situations and intentions (of others) to myself in a more positive light.

Things happen. Life is messy, and things rarely go as planned... but I can lighten up some a lot; become less rigid, achieve more 'flow', more flexibility... physically *and* mentally/emotionally! Make life a little less stressful for those around me, as opposed to MORE stressful, which I think may be my current 'default' setting.

Lord, help me to become a peace-full Being. My heart has been feeling rather 'stony' as of late, and I don't like it. I well remember feeling boundless kindness and compassion toward others as a youngster... where did that version of me go?!? When did I become this self-entitled, angry person I seem to be these days? What beliefs have I developed (or allowed to overgrow) that cause me to think and react this way? When did I become such an 'accuser of my bretheren'?!? My attitudes have not been very 'Godly', acting nothing like I know I should be. Every part of me that I know of is in agreement with God's Word about the right way to behave toward others, yet here I am, doing the opposite.