My Journey Through the Poetical Books of the Bible

I began my journey today with my wife and our daily Bible Study. We began a reading plan with Job and read the first 3 chapters. The third chapter struck me the most as I identify with what Job was feeling and thinking during this chapter. Many of his statements resonated with me in a big way.

Job 3:11 (NKJV) "Why did I not die at birth? Why did I not perish when I came from the womb?

I cannot count the number of times I've felt this. My mother gave birth to 5 children. Of those 5, I was the only one that lived.

Job 3:16 (NKJV) Or why was I not hidden like a stillborn child, Like infants who never saw light?

Again, I thought many times of my brothers and sisters. How lucky they were. They never had to endure this life. They never had to experience suffering, grief, darkness, depression, anxiety, loss, terror, hopelessness. They got to go right home. They got to go be with God right away. But not me. For the longest time, I considered my life a curse. That, for whatever reason, I was punished with this cursed life, just for the sin of being born.

Job 3:3 (NKJV) "May the day perish on which I was born, And the night in which it was said, 'A male child is conceived.'

Job 3:13 (NKJV) For now I would have lain still and been quiet, I would have been asleep; Then I would have been at rest

And yet, even though I longed for death, it never came.

Job 3:20 (NKJV) "Why is light given to him who is in misery, And life to the bitter of soul,

Job 3:21 (NKJV) Who long for death, but it does not come, And search for it more than hidden treasures;

I couldn't understand why I longed for death, and yet God didn't take me. I yearned for that sweet embrace, and yet God ignored me. I thought perhaps He hated me. That he was cruel and vindictive.

I was such a fool.

Job lost everything he had. His possessions, his riches, his children, his servants, his family, his health. Everything. All gone in an instant. Satan brought his greatest fears to life.

Job 3:25 (NKJV) For the thing I greatly feared has come upon me, And what I dreaded has happened to me.

Most likely a common fear of the rich, isn't it? Losing everything and having to live like a common man, learning a more frugal lifestyle and having to give up many of their earthly comforts.

But Job lost EVERYTHING.

What had I lost? For what was I consumed by mourning?

Job 3:8 (NKJV) May those curse it who curse the day, Those who are ready to arouse Leviathan. (Leviathan was a Babylonian symbol of mourning. To arouse Leviathan would lead to being consumed by it. Or consumed by mourning, which Job clearly was in this chapter.)

Compared to Job, I'd lost NOTHING. I'd merely had regrets from my past. Haunting regrets that I hadn't let go. I wasn't grateful for what I HAD been given. My life, my wife, my health. I had everything I had ever wanted, and I didn't even realize it simply because it wasn't exactly as I had pictured in my youth. I was a fool. I blamed and cursed God for my own iniquity.

I am eternally humbled, Lord. Humbled by my foolish, headstrong nature. Humbled by your infinite Grace. I cannot express how guilty and foolish I feel for those illicit thoughts against you. My life is a gift. The opportunity to know my mother and father. To know my wife, the woman of my dreams, the woman you gifted to me. The opportunity to know YOU, Lord God.

John 3:16 (NKJV) For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son, that whoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.

I think everyone knows this verse. The Gospels condensed into one beautiful and poetic verse. The true gift of the Grace of God. That Jesus is the reason I can have salvation and forgiveness for the sin I have been born into. Thank you, God. Thank you for all that you have done for me, for all that you have given me. Thank you for the gift of Jesus Christ, our Lord and Savior. Glory be to Jesus for all time, and for all mankind.

For my daily prayer, I wish to pray for my daughter, Lord Jesus. That you watch after her, that you enter her life and help her purge the evil that is plaguing her. That you enter her heart and bring her to the light, God. I pray that this is Your will, that she will be safe, and that her family will prosper and grow in your Grace.

All glory be to Christ Jesus!