Unfortunately things are just not going as planned for me at the moment. The apartment I have been trying to rent seems to have fallen through. I am exhausted 24/7. I am having a flare up of my chronic muscular disease which has left me so tired yet unable to sleep. There is a constant aching pain between my shoulders that is the tell tale sign that things are not right with my body again. I had just started to have the energy to go to the gym and workout again and now I can barely get myself out of bed.
The one silver lining is that my job is really flexible when it comes to my health and if I feel I need to go home early or work from home, that is usually okay. But because of my exhaustion and inability to sleep, I have been not coming in and I have been late and it is a terrible feeling. Even with all of the flexibility that my job has offered me it is very difficult to relax. I feel like there is so much that I need to get done that I just can't even begin to think about. Working while being chronically ill is already hard enough but add in that I have to find a place to live and figure out how to afford it and find time to workout, feed myself, clean and just take care of everyday tasks and did I mention that I am currently commuting 1.5 hours each way. There is just no time left in the day and I am frozen, absolutely paralyzed and unable to really get anything done. I always have huge plans of being productive but by the end of the day I just need to collapse into my bed.
Not knowing if we got the apartment is just the icing on the cake to a bad start to the week. My boyfriend comes home next weekend and we do not have a lot of time to figure out where we are going to live. It is so expensive to find a place to rent and nobody wants to rent short term but we just cannot commit to a one year lease. We don't even know if we will be in the province by the end of the year. And until we do find a place he is going to be staying with me and my family. He has not even actually met my parents yet and my family is eccentric to say the least. We also have 2 dogs who are very in your face, which is not great for someone who is somewhat fearful of dogs. They are the friendliest dogs in the world though, perhaps they will change his opinion on dogs.
I am finding it difficult to keep seeing the good in everyday when I start to feel like this, but I am trying and I know I will get back on track.
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