back again :)

Hello again!! Not sure how long this little journaling thing is gonna last, but here we go! Today was an interesting day. I woke up this morning and I think I must have been dreaming about a sorta traumatic thing that happened because I woke up and spent hours laying in bed just thinking about it. I'm not going to say what happened because I'm still not sure if I'm ready to. It affects me more than I'd like to admit, and I'm not sure if I'll ever feel okay about talking about it. Anyways, after that, I went downstairs to get breakfast and ended up on the couch watching Riverdale for like 8 hours. Later, I got up and went upstairs and ended up watching youtube for a bit. Then, my mom came in and asked me if I wanted to go to Walmart. I've been practicing driving lately because I am way overdue on getting my license, so I drove there and back which was fun. I noticed my mom has been really quick to buy things lately. She isn't caring about her money that much and it's kind of concerning to me. She spent a crap ton on a weird fancy chair that I doubt she'll ever use. Anyways, I had a fun little chat with my mom, which was kind of cool because we don't really talk like that very often. She also fixed my phone, so I don't have to use my school computer for everything anymore! It was cool to go on social media and stuff again. Anyways, the thing I was thinking about writing about today is how I can't really let myself be in silence. I'm always either watching something or listening to something. Usually, it's music or a youtube video in the background of whatever else I'm doing. I'm not really sure why I do this, I don't think it's because I'm afraid of the quiet or anything like that. I think it might be more of a needing to be stimulated thing, or maybe an escape from having to be alone with my thoughts. I think it might be interesting to try not to watch or listen to anything for a few days. There is no way I could ever do that, but it would be interesting!! I'm listening to music right now. I can't really seem to focus on journaling right now, so I think I might just go to bed. Thanks for reading :)