June 16, 2020


Today was very rough for me.

I didn't know what triggers me; my workload is still manageable, I interacted well with my friends, my family didn't make any fuss this morning. I also managed to meditate before going to work, although I woke up quite late, it wasn't a rushed morning.

Yet my mood went like rollercoaster hitting the bottom part of the track.

For the first time ever, I felt very suffocated the whole day. Usually it'd be gone soon after I chatted with my friends, but today was a very unusual day that the sadness lingered. I listened to a funny podcast, happy songs to positive affirmations but none of it worked. I literally felt sad depressed all the time, resulting in my work pace became even slower.

What worse is: I couldn't cry it off.

It was a very uncomfortable feeling. I became exhausted than ever.

Although now it has eased a bit after playing games with my boyfriend and my guildmates, there's still a bit heaviness in my chest.

And it really scares me; what will happen tomorrow?

I don't wanna drown in sadness.

Written by scherie

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