Finished some frustrating work

4:22 AM (of Wednesday, September 6th 2023)

Today is Tuesday, September 5th 2023. Yesterday (Monday) was Labor Day in the United States so we had a day off. Most of us I think. There's still always workers everywhere though, like stores are still open, I think they still ship out items and packages during that day too.

The thing is, work never ends. It's neverending. Well, it does end, with our deaths or termination of work. But while we're there, it never ends. There's always either new tasks, new people, new clients, or new emails, new something or everything, every single day. It really never ends. One new thing completed adds to a memory of completed items. So literally after thousands of projects or something, we would have thousands of new memories associated with these. It does get tedious and annoying when everything is so different per project.

I wonder how people are able to maintain sanity in all this? I think it's because most people actually just work on one project. For example if a person works for Microsoft they might have a job working on Microsoft Excel, and I think that's all that they focus on. So they don't have much going on. For me I have multiple projects, I have projects at work, and even my own projects that i work on personally. I have to be a master at all these things I'm working on too because no one else does. I pretty much have to know the ins and outs, everything working about it.

Then they all have different frameworks and even entirely different programming languages that they operate on. I have to use different tools and programs to work on them. They are all published differently. It's so freaking interesting. Like I worked on Vegpal for a bit, for like a year, and I had to learn Flutter and dart and android and iOS development, which I haven't done in years. That was another project to maintain and work on. It was not easy. I actually dislike mobile app development after this experience. It's just too much for me, too many rules.

I like web development more, it's easier on my brain because I know everything going on, or most things anyway. It's so fun and understandable for me. I don't stress out much about stuff there. But it does depend. Again I work on multiple different projects so it's a lot to know. It's so much to know.

Also I have skills in video editing too. I manage multiple YouTube channels with 2000 subscribers and millions of views. I mean I don't actually actively manage it, but just having these things takes a toll on my mind I think. I get comments basically every day with people posting about whatever, and it's always in the back of my mind to make more videos too, or go back into video editing and making videos again. So it's something I've never forgotten or gotten rid. I have to memorize and know all my YouTube logins too, because back in the day you had to make a new YouTube account for every new account you wanted, instead of just clicking "add account" like now.

Also I have the Habitica challenges I have to manage and the Discord. And then I have to manage my Facebook and Twitter accounts. And also my Instagram. My social media has thousands of followers too, so it's just another thing I have to think about.

Oh yeah and then I have to clean up my rooms, clean up my home. I have to wash the dishes and do the laundry, do the sweeping. I have to organize my health too. I have to exercise every day and do some strength and cardio exercises. I have to write a journal entry every day, and I am actually getting back into that groove which feels good.

This is just scratching the surface by the way. There's a lot more I don't want to get into like my finances which I have like so many accounts to keep track of. I have several bills I have to pay every month. I have an entire company I have to manage which is a separate entity from me but I wholly own and I have to maintain its website, clients, finances, taxes, bills, paperwork, everything.

Yeah then I have to maintain relationships with people. Oh yeah, I am in school too. I'm taking Calculus and Psychology or Philosophy 101 this term which starts on Thursday. So I have to do the homework and study for those things. This is so much to learn and manage. It's crazy.

Also my past memories of everything. I've worked on many many projects over the years and I still remember them. I should still know how to maintain them and work on them even years later I think. Like these things are still in my mind. I still have a general idea of the stuff I worked on. Literally hundreds of projects. When I was working on pdf forms and paper forms and turning those into "mobile applications" or digital forms, I've seen and worked through hundreds of them. I also worked on hundreds of forms turning them into Custom PDFs. Literally hundreds of these and I still have memories of them even if I don't have exact details.

I think most other people deal with just a fraction of what I have experienced, just because I'm in so many different areas. I'm also up to date with pop culture because I've been on X a lot lately. I also watch a lot of anime so I know the latest stuff going on. Now I'm playing Minecraft and Fortnite, more games to be good at. And I'm good at games too, I am so good at so many, like I won a middle school Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament in middle school, and I used to dominate in that game in high school. I used to be one of the top 100 fastest typists in the entire world back in 2014 since I typed 191 words per minute. I got rank 1 in multiple games, including rank #1 worldwide in Granage, which doesn't have many players, but I still got rank #1 in it.

Like most people at work who just work on something, they only know that one thing. Outside of that, they wouldn't be good at any games. None. They don't have any YouTube videos, no views on YouTube either. They don't know how to edit videos, how to use Photoshop (I got certified in Photoshop, Dreamweaver, and Flash back in high school and also Word, Excel, and Powerpoint. I had the record for most certifications completed in my entire high school at the time). They don't have any Twitter followers or whatever. They don't work on multiple projects, maybe they don't even exercise.

There is a song I'm working on too and I need to write lyrics for it. Oh yeah that's another thing too, I actually have published songs on all music platforms under the name Megawattz Muisic. Also I have a book that's ready to be published that I hired a ghost writer for. But I haven't published it yet. Maybe I don't want to? There's also stories and stuff I've commissioned people to complete too, which I haven't even read yet or had published either.

I've also traveled around the world. Ive been to like 20 countries or something. So I have memories of culture and people and places. There are people that haven't even left their hometown. I went to school in 3 countries growing up, all different languages and culture I think. I live in a Spanish speaking island right now. The main language here is Spanish which I should be fluent in by now but I haven't been immersing myself too much. I did for the first year, but it's been a while.

I really need help in my life. I need help so much. Because there's just so many things to work on. I don't think most other people can relate because they don't even have a fraction of all this stuff I think. Even in high school I already had several websites and videos and millions of views and was already good at games and already traveled to 4 countries. I also had all those classes which everyone else also had, but also had a lot of after school club activities. Yeah high school was really chill for me, and everything just became more as I became older.

It would be fun to have a partner to help me with all this. It's so much to handle. I can't believe I'm able to do it. But it does overwhelm me sometimes and I get a headache from trying to think about all these things.

Anyway I did some work today. I got it done. It was so frustrating and I felt like giving up most of the time. I also went to the UPS building and picked up two packages. One is an inversion table and the other is a blackout blinds. I'll wait for my dad to set these up. I'm really sleepy and tired.[[