12:47 AM (of Monday, September 11th 2023)
Today is Sunday, September 10th 2023 and it was a pretty good day today. It had a lot of ups and downs, a lot of different things going on. I woke up at around 11 AM today because I fell asleep last night at like 3 or 4 AM. I don't know. I have lately been randomly staying up super late for no reason. I don't even remember what I did last night that justified staying up so late. Well I did stay up until like 12 AM playing Minecraft with Emma ,and then I think I played some Fortnite after, or maybe that was two nights ago.
Anyway that's the point. All my memories get mixed up if I don't write a journal entry for the events of that day. Even if it's just a week later, I think my memories of that day would be not great at all. Hmm. Yeah. I suck.
There's actually a pile of things that I am working on that are going to be due soon, and I haven't worked on them yet. This includes my homework and this patent I am filing. Oh my gosh. Yeah. Also a song I'm writing. Yeah. So many things. Also a book. Yeah. Geez. I need to really work on these things and organize them properly.
So what happened today? I woke up at 11 AM or so like I said. I browsed the Internet for a bit, and at around 3 PM I went to go to La Tierra Cocina Compasion to get some vegan sushi. In there, a person recognized me, Jeff, who I've talked to once before and we're friends on Facebook. We talked for a bit and that was really awkward. It's been a while since I last talked to a mostly stranger. He introduced me to his wife and his other friend that he was eating with. I am not so great with small talk. We talked about pretty random things. His wife thought I ate sushi a lot because I'm Asian. Lol.
After that I went home, ate that delicious vegan sushi, and then played Minecraft with Emma again. We ended up making this Iron farm. She sent me this video and told me to do it. I was reluctant to. It was this new thing, and it was sort of technical and complicated, to a newbie. I've only been playing Minecraft for like a week or two. I don't even remember. I have been playing it every day since though, at least an hour a day, probably more. What a waste of time right? When I could be doing stuff that is actually due?
So apparently you make these four little rooms for these villagers to fill, and then you put a zombie in this center area. Whenever the villagers see the zombie at night, they panic, and they spawn an iron golem. You are supposed to make this structure above their rooms where the iron golem spawns and they get pushed by this water, and they fall into a lava pit. They drop iron and you can basically get an infinite amount of iron by doing this. It's a really useful mineral because you can make iron and other tools with it.
The best item set for the longest time was diamond. I think it's nether now. But diamond is just marginally better than iron. I cheated and typed in cheats to give me diamond tools and armor, and honestly, it wasn't that much better than iron.
The question now is if it is possible to create a diamond farm where it can spawn diamonds? Emma says we should kill this Ender dragon soon. As if I'm supposed to know what that is. And I do, because I read about it a while ago. It's the last boss in the game apparently. You get to him by going to the "center" of this one world, and there's this place called "The End" or ]something. I'm not really all sure about it.
What else? After we got the iron farm working, she said she had to go to sleep. She congratulated me for being able to make it in just a few hours, and that it took her several days to make hers the first time. I don't really know how it was hard, all I had to do was follow this instructional video. Also she helped with the villagers and the zombies. She kinda wanted me to follow the video step by step, even though I told her a lot of the measurements and everything were probably arbitrary. I want to make my own version of the iron farm too. I think I can make one better and more concise than this, just based on what I know of the game so far, and I don't even know how redstone works.
What i would do is just make a smaller version of this. Instead of a 7x7 grid above the rooms, why not make it a lot smaller? Also instead of 3 rooms for the villagers, why not just make one room? I don't actually know if this will work, but I think it will. It would be the same exact concept, just shrunk.
After that she went to sleep and I walked around inside the neighborhood for like an hour. It's actually really cool that I can go and walk outside at night here. I should be grateful I can do such a thing. I listened to nostalgic music the whole time. I thought about Wahl too. In all honesty, I am still infatuated by her. If she messaged me and gave me a second date, I would accept. I would love to see her again. I said earlier that I lost all attraction for her, oh, only if that were true.
Anyway I felt pretty worthless while walking around. Very much worthless. What am I doing with my life? I don't even know.j I feel like I'm not really going anywhere or getting anywhere.
I was also really happy and grateful for my parents. They are so amazing. They are going to be visiting me in a week and I'm so happy and grateful for them. That they love me a lot and would do anything for me. I'm pretty certain both my parents would give up their lives if it meant I would live. They love me that much. I am so happy to have parents like them. I don't have any friends like that, not anymore. Well, maybe Emma would be like that. But Wahl wouldn't, I don't think she cares about me at all, even though I care so much about her.
I wish there were someone that cared about me as much as I cared about them. Emma cares about me a lot. She's really nice and cool. I like her as a friend, but I can't say I'm in love with her, like I am with Wahl. Same with AJN. I mean AJN has helped improve my life tremendously. She was there whenever I needed her, and she was cool, and awesome, most of the time. There was a phase when she would just nag me and hate me. Like I tried to do some cool kicks and stuff on this punching bag, and she just made fun of me and laughed at me. But she made me more critical of myself. Like I am extremely critical and resentful and hateful to myself because of her.
She kept implying with her nagging that I wasn't doing enough, I wasn't enough. I mean she's right. I was a very messed up person. I still am a very messed up person. And I now discipline myself a lot more thanks to her.
Whenever I tell Emma things that are critical of myself, she always implies that I am good enough and that I don't need to improve or do anything different at all. Well I can't. I'm not happy with myself, so I can't be like Emma who is just content with everything.
Meanwhile Wahl is like the prize. She's just the best and the hardest working girl I've met. Like I just know she'd be the best partner for me if we were in a team together. She's also the most attractive girl I have ever met in my entire life. a 9999999/10 when the average woman is 5/10. Like she has so many positive qualities that make her stand out from anyone else, which is such a rarity. She has the best body, personality, and work ethic, all combined into one person. Also she's really girly too, but I was so dumb when we met up.
If Emma had those qualities, I would fall in love with her too. She actually already has a pretty nice personality. She just has a lot of other easily fixable qualities. If I criticized her the way AJN criticized me though, she would be angry about it. Like I want someone who can keep their place clean, and Wahl says she enjoys cleaning and cleans every day, she's responsible af. Emma says she never cleans and there's no point because she doesn't care if her place is a mess. That's just one thing, I can go on about other things but I already feel pretty bad enough just writing this.
Do I have the right to criticize anyone though? Since this is my journal, I think it's fair for me to write about qualities I'm looking for in a partner, and if or when someone I'm considering doesn't fit those qualities, or what I like or don't like about someone. I think that's completely fair.
I'm not sure If I will be with anyone in my entire life. I'm so grateful that Emma is around, because I'd be so lonely and feel so ostracized otherwise. I'm grateful for my parents too. They message me almost every day, pretty much every day. I rarely respond to them. These are the only three people I'm basically regularly talking to, my parents and Emma. I also have other people I could talk to, but I don't.
Like do I just suck? I suck. Anyway I still regret not writing a journal entry every day, because I barely remember my Europe trip anymore. I should have written about all the countries I visited and the cities I visited, and the places we went to. I honestly barely remember. I don't even know if I can name all the countries I went to. Let me try: Germany, Austria, Switzerland, and Hungary. Yeah these are the countries that I went to. I can barely recall my memories in them. Of course I remember, but barely. Yeah. It's better if I wrote a journal entry every day.
Something I've been doing lately has been watching the anime Hitman Reborn again. It's such a good anime. I think they have the best looking male characters out of any anime. The art style and fashion of the characters is top notch. Their clothing are so good. The clothing in other anime suck by comparison. I also like that the main antagonist was so godlike but also so human as well. The main antagonist's ability is crazy good. If I remember correctly, his main ability is that he can talk to all the multiverse versions of himself, in the past and future too. It leaves him in an extremely vulnerable state whenever he goes into his "cocoon" to hibernate to be able to talk to his other versions. I think he has to go to sleep for like 48 hours or something, and so anyone can literally end his life as he does that.
So, someone with that kind of ability is basically unstoppable, and that's what he becomes. He is basically unstoppable. Still, somehow the main characters were able to overcome him, but only in this universe. IN the other ones, I think he still remains victorious. It's a really interesting ability.
I just like looking at the male characters and wanting to look like them. Like damn they are so good looking. The best looking male characters of any anime. I can't say the same about the female characters in the anime. I think Lal Mirch and Yuni look good, and that's it. I think the drawings of the male characters just look so freaking good, but not the female characters. They give the guys these really skinny bodies and really nice looking clothing. The women on the other hand are basically drawn the same way, and have the same body shape as the guys, and it's really not as good.
Anyway I've never actually watched the whole series from start to end. There's just so much that happens, but I know the general story since I've seen episodes and read the wiki pages.
Anyway that was my day today.
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