10:32 PM
As much as I don't want to turn 30, there is nothing that I can do about it. There's nothing anyone can do about it. No matter how much we don't want to age, no matter how much we don't want to die, these things are inevitable. Of course there are ways we can slow down our biological aging or even reverse it, but there are no practical ways in which we can slow down or reverse our chronological aging. There are theoretical ways we can reverse our chronological aging, like by getting on a vehicle moving really fast, like a jet, and then maybe if we travel at 700 miles per hour for 1 entire year, then maybe we'd slow down our chronological time by 1 second. It's just not practical, so for all intents and purposes, there is no way we can slow down our chronological aging.
Biological aging on the other hand, is about health. At 18 years old, on average, people have certain health markers that on average, get worse with age. One measurement could be VO2 max, which is pretty much at our peaks when we're age 18. These go down over the years, just due to chronological aging. However, even at 40, we can improve our VO2 max to the average level of an 18 year old's, and in this way, we'd have become younger. Combine this with other metrics, if we can get all the most important ones and improve them to the point that they're to the level or exceeding the average 18 year old's, then we can argue we're biologically 18.
There is a man conducting an experiment where he is making himself to be as young as possible, Bryan Johnson. He's in his 40s already, but he is doing every activity possible to improve his health biomarkers. He is a billionaire that spends around $2 million per year to improve his health. Biologically he's superior to 18 year olds in many metrics. I think his VO2 Max was in the top 99th percentile of 18 year olds for example, and so were some other metrics. In some other less important metrics, he was in his 30s. Anyway, I respect him. He follows a plant based diet too. That is just amazing.
So anyway, today. My last day as a 29 year old. It's a Saturday, and it's really just another day. There's not much difference between today and last Saturday, other than I am going to be 30 tomorrow, and this is my last day to be in my 20s. Our age, and years, are basically arbitrary numbers anyway. It just means I've been alive long enough to experience the earth going around the sun 30 times. I admit, it's been quite a journey.
Right now, I feel pretty good. Let me go over the positive things in my life today. My life is drastically different from most people in their 20s. I of course had some struggles, there was a time in my early 20s when I was in $30k in debt, unemployed, obese, living with my parents, doing at nothing at home all day. This is when I was 20. I had dropped out of college at age 19 after just one year of school, and I had that much debt. My parents said they would pay for my entire college tuition even if I stayed for four years, but I knew my debt would've ballooned up to over $100k, and that they wouldn't have been able to pay that off.
Also school was pretty hard for me. I did my best, I got okay grades I think. But it was hard. I had to study for the courses, do the reading assignments, the homework assignments. I mean I went through this experience in high school and all my previous schooling years already. In 8th grade I got straight A's. In 9th grade I tgot straight A's except for 1 class, in which I got an A- in, and then the next year, 10th grade, I got mostly A's, a few B's, and it just kept getting worse from there. By the time I was a senior, I had like mostly B's I think, and some A's. Still, overall my GPA was above 4.0 because some of the courses I took had a rating out of 5. So an A was a 5 instead of a 4.
So I dropped out. I think I was 19 when I started my first business. It was in like, July 2014 when I registered my first LLC, Megawatt Apps. I was either 19 or 20. Ah, I think I was 20. Also keep in mind my memory is not perfect. I said July 2014 above, but I could be wrong about that date. It could've been 2013 for all I know, but I'm pretty sure it was July 2014 when I incorporated Megawatt Apps, LLC. I made apps for that business, and did not get much or any downloads. But that experience hepled me land a job when I turned 21.
At my 21st birthday party, I was still unemployed and was obese, and in heavy debt. I celebrated with one friend. I will actually put his actual name here. Vikash. He gave me this hbeer, uhh, I think it was hard liquor. The one with cinnamon. Ah, Fireball. I don't drink alcohol at all, so I don't know their names that well.. But yeah, that was the first time I ever drank alcohol, other than the single sips of wine at the catholic ceremonies. Wait, I don't even think I drank any of that. I think he just gave it to me, and since I didn't drink, I ended up just leaving it there. It was when I was 22 that we drank it together, I think, but that's too far in the future.
I did maintain a website too, that got like a hundred thousand or so visitors per month. I had two websites like that. I mean I also did other activities during that time, like I did a lot during that time period that I don't want to get into, like I also had a few YouTube channels that I was still making videos for at the time. I had those websites, I had several apps. Like 20-30 apps or more or something. I don't even remember. I just did a lot. I did some cycling, I watched DurianRider videos. I was already vegan during that time too.
But anyway, my 21st birthday party. There wasn't really any party. My parents went to work, and then Vikash came over and gave me that Fireball alcohol. I said thanks, and I didn't drink it. Maybe we took a shot out of it together? This memory isn't clear to me. I think we mainly hung out at my home, and I think we just used our laptops together in the living room. I lived in an apartment at the time, a really old and "ghetto" apartment. It was one of the cheapest places in the area, and I lived on the bottom floor, which was under ground level basically. Whenever it flooded, sometime the water would actually get in.
He and his brother were some of the few friends that I hung out with during that time. The cool thing is that his home was within walking distance to where I lived. I mean I really needed this guy and his support. He encouraged me to look for jobs and apply for jobs. I don't think I would have applied for any jobs at all without him. I would have kept up my entrepreneurial tasks and would've gotten nowhere. I did make some money, but it wasn't much. It wasn't livable for sure. My parents, even though I was unemployed, still asked me for $500 a month, so pretty much all the money I was making went to that, and sometimes I wouldn't have enough for it I think. Most of the time I'm sure I had enough though.
So with Vikash's encouragement, I applied for a lot of different jobs. I applied for jobs like a Best Buy assistant guy, a guy that walks around the store and is an expert with the items there or something like that. I applied for jobs like tech support, where I would just be on the phone all day and help people with whatever. These jobs paid like $12 or $15 per hour. I don't even know. That would have been a lot to me at the time, I would have been so grateful and happy for that opportunity because I was making $0 guaranteed income.
I sent out emails with a custom cover letter in each, along with my resume. Keep in mind my resume was pretty badass. Like, I don't know if I have any copies of it. But it had like 20-30 different apps and websites that I made listed on there. It had my certificates from high school, my Adobe Flash, Photoshop, and Dreamweaver certificates, these are like $500 each to take, but I got to take them for free in high school, and I passed. I also had an IC3 certificate, and certificates for Microsoft Word, PowerPoint, and Excel. These were actual certificates that the school county paid for. I held the record at the time for the most certificates anyone ever got while in high school.
My IT teacher and I had really good rapport in high school. Her name was Mrs. Koeninger and I was in a few of her classes over the years. She ran FBLA too, Future Business Leaders of America, which I think I became an officer of in my high school branch. I have always been the top student in all my IT classes by the way. Like, there are students who rare good at math, and I just happened to be the student exceptional with computers. I mean even in 9th grade, with the typing tests that we had, I set the records. There were juniors and seniors in that same class too, and I beat everyone as a freshman. I was the only person that even had a website, basically in the whole school I think, I've had a website since I was in 3rd grade.
So yeah my resume was pretty remarkable. Like, I've interviewed college freshmen and sophomores at a top school, when they were applying for an internship at Vegpal. My resume from a college drop out, at 21, beat all theirs by a mile, by a lot. There were of course some students that worked on their own projects, but barely any, and they weren't so groundbreaking. I literally had 20-30 websites and apps, with screenshots, in my resume. I used this to apply for jobs at Best Buy and computer repair shops, and other places. I just wanted a beginner role. I got nothing. No one wanted to hire me.
I think they maybe thought I was too qualified. I listed the business I made there, and listed all the programs it's developed, and I think that was off-putting to a lot of these companies. They might've been like "why is this person applying for such an entry level job like Best Buy clerk?". And the thing is, the reason I didn't apply for any programming roles, was because I was not confident in my ability to program. Yeah I made websites and apps, and I was better than honestly like 99.99% of the population at these things at the time, but I didn't have any formal training, just self taught, and I thought I couldn't compete.
Nearly all the apps were reskins anyway, I bought people's source codes, which impressed me a lot at how complicated they were, and I'd just modify the images and some variables and other things. So based on working on these people's source codes, I felt incompetent by comparison. Honestly at this time, I was peak productivity. If some company just gave me some sort of apprenticeship at a very entry level programming position, I would have dominated, but I thought that was beyond my reach.
There was also a time I went to Silver Spring, Maryland for this certificate training or whatever. I don't even remember what it was. There was just this "free" thing I saw on Craigslist, and I think it was some course training in getting a job or something. But yeah I went to Silver Spring, MD, rode a train to get there, and I wore a suit. I remember just walking around and finding the place or something. My memory of it is really blurry, but I went alone. I remember complimenting a guy on his red watch. There was a bunch of us, I was the youngest one there, there were people in their 40s. It was a bunch of people that wanted to branch out into IT or something.
I don't remember why, but I never went there again. I don't know why. And why did I even go alone? It was far. I remember I also went to a mall there or something, and I couldn't buy anything because I didn't have any money, or barely any, and I just window shopped for no reason. I was like, I'm in Silver Spring, might as well explore around. Yeah nothing came from that.
But Vikash encouraged me to apply for more jobs anyway, so I did. And I give him so much credit right, but what happened is we basically had one conversation where I told him I was having no luck, and he was like "yeah apply for more jobs" and that single event changed my life positively. I probably would have done it anyway even if he didn't say it, but I think things would probably have been different. I don't even know if today is the best result that could have happened, but I do like where I am right now. I like my current position in life at 29.
I think he helped out as a friend too. I had no one at the time. It's funny how I always have some figures appear in my life when I need them the most. Right now I have Emma to talk to every day, every night. She's always around to voice chat with me and hang out. Like, I wanted someone to talk to, and hang out with, and here she is. It's like whatever I look for, somehow ends up being there. I wanted to lose weight, and AJN appeared and helped me out. She disappeared when I became rude, but overall she left with "always wishing the best for you" and then blocked me. It's weird how the kind of people I want to appear, appear.
I think our actions are different based on our intents, which are shaped by our desires. Like, "I want a best friend" and so if someone does appear, maybe we behave in such a way that we become best friends with this person. Or, "I want a job" so when we do meet someone, like a friend, then we'll talk about that the whole time, and they could be encouraging to us. But it's weird. These people were really helpful to me when they appeared.
No one in a relationship sense has appeared though, that I really want to be with. Except for Wahl. Like I still really want to be with her. Emma is cool too. I mean there's been women in my life who appeared that really wanted to be with me, but I didn't return the same feelings.
And these friends disappear too. Like they're there for a bit, and then they're gone. I haven't talked to Vikash in years. I haven't seen him in like 3 years or 4 years or something like that. I miss everyone.
Anyway, In November or October 2014, I applied for this place called Canvas Solutions, Inc. They were a startup, and I sent them my awesome resume for their ad on Craigslist for the role of "App Builder" (actually it was officially called "App Architect" but that sounds way too advanced for the role). I never used the title of "App Architect" though because that's extreme I think. They gave us that title to boost us up, but I think it's too showy.
Yeah I sent my resume in with my unique cover letter. They invited me for an interview, and this job was really close to where I lived. First was the phone call interview, which I think went pretty well. Then they invited me to come in person. Again this job was super close to where I lived, so I just bicycled there. I wore a suit, and ate some Chipotle (vegan of course), downstairs at the building it was in. Then I took the elevator to the 8th floor. Like this was a really fancy building. One of the most luxurious buildings in the Reston Town Center. It was smack dab right there, to the right of the big fountain. It was one of the central buildings in the city, no joke.
Yeah this job was on the 8th floor, I think 11th was the top floor. I mean I used that elevator hundreds of times, and I can't even recall the top floor perfectly. I think it was 11 floors though. I interviewed with 3 people there. I wore a suit, and spoke nicely, and answered as best as I could. And you know what? Without a degree or anything, I got this job. $20 per hour as my first job. You don't know how happy that made me. In like my first day, I earned like over $100, I think $160. That was a lot, and I earned this every day.
When they hired me, I was basically just a contractor. That's the role you have for that position. They made me full time a few months later, for the same rate, $20 per hour, which turned out to be a $40k/yr salary. I was really happy with that salary. I would take home like $1160 every 2 weeks, something like that. I know because I remember. I mean excluding taxes it would be like $1600 every two weeks, but of course they took a chunk out. Yeah that was so livable for me. That was a lot. I did a lot with that. I bought a brand new car with that, and paid it off within 2 years.
Anyway I worked there for a couple of years, from December 2014 to January 2018 I think. Because I started at the end of the year, and got fired at the beginning of another year, it's like I worked there for 4 years, but I was really only there for 3 years and 2 months. I mean I did so much there. Like I scripted my own cool programming language there. That was freaking cool. It wasn't even anything assigned at work, I just did it on my own, for fun, and I presented it to people. Like I felt like my role there was beneficial and cool, and I felt valued.
At my third year, I kept complaining about my pay though. I got promoted over the years, like 2 times total to new roles. The promotions and pay raises were pretty significant actually and I shouldn't have complained. However I felt like my pay there wasn't great, I'd compare myself to friends that were making more, and I complained about that. Because I was complaining a lot to my coworkers, I think that's why they decided to fire me. That was hurtful when I got fired.
My friend Ahmed told me to apply for unemployment benefits, my dad told me that would look bad, so I didn't. My friend Nate with his girlfriend Melanie, helped me get a job. I'm so grateful for them too. I'd ask for a raise and stuff later on, and I got those to much higher salaries later. In like May 2018, this would be my first true programming job. The first week was self training, basically they told me to study C# and learn these different frameworks. I did. I made some games out of what I learned, like I made Tic Tac Toe, Minesweeper, and a Calculator, all on my own, no tutorials for these programs.
After that, I was up to my own thing. They assigned me work, and I would do them. I'd do them all, no matter how crazy they were. They just gave me expectations, and I completed them. This version of me I think was my most productive. Like I was insanely productive. I also did a lot of side projects at the time like I installed Archlinux and had a cool operating system, I learned Emacs and Spacemacs, and Orgmode, and I made this website. In my previous company I did some game development and I learned Dvorak in my own spare time, and made videos and did other stuff.
I hated this time period to be honest. But in hindsight, that was like my peak in terms of productivity and intelligence II think, and also fitness, and responsibility. I ran a half marathon on my own for fun.
At some point before that, I made this website. I don't know, I literally dedicated months to it. I made this website from scratch using everything I knew. I honestly don't have this same knowledge today. I have worked on other projects and other frameworks, and unfortunately, we forget things. I forgot most of how to develop on this website. I literally developed every single feature (of course I used open source add-ons and stuff too, not everything is literally made from scratch). Like how to log in, how to reset your password, how to gain experience and the profiles, and adding this writing prompt, sending messages, blocking users. I could make these features in just one day. Like the blocking user feature, I could make that in a few hours, when I remembered how.
Anything I imagined I could do, I could do. I unfortunately forgot most of the mechanics of this website by now, and yeah. I mean I can still make edits and adjustments, that stuff is easy. Making new features from scratch though? Like a paginator? Like a password reset? A sitemaps page? Like that would probably take me a week of research of something, instead of just a single day when I just knew how to do it. Obviously I can relearn all this again, I just have to take a course on this again to refresh my memory.
Then the pandemic happened and we got to work from home. I still did the same work, but just at home. I started eating a lot more, and I stopped working out, I became obese again.
At some point I wanted a huge life change and decided to move to Puerto Rico. I already wrote an entire journal entry on my moving and purchasing a home here. My dad helped me move. I stared a business here too, and got my former employer as a client. I actually wanted to quit several times, like I attempted to quit like 3 times, but my boss called me each time and convinced me to stay. Today I'm really so grateful for the opportunity to stay.
Here I had several adventures. I met several new friends including AJN and RW. We went hiking together, went to beaches, waterfalls, lots of adventures. Like every weekend we'd go somewhere, near the end of 2021 and beginning of 2022. Aloe became my GF temporarily. I think Eva or Ava is the name I gave another friend that visited me and stayed with me for a week. AJN stayed with me for a few weeks to months or something. I hung out and visited some friends in NYC for my 29th birthday. I met Wahl online and she visited me in 2022.
In 2023 I went to like 5 or 6 countries. Oh yeah I'm skipping so much. I traveled to like 15 countries or something during my 20s. I also went out with a few other women during that time period too. I worked on Vegpal and that was an entire other company I did work for. I skipped so much.
But yeah. At the current time I'm writing this, it is 12:34 AM of Sunday, September 17th, that's my birthday. That's my birthday. I'm officially 30 years old now. My 20s are gone. Long gone. There is no way I can go back to them, but I can relive them through these memories that I have of them. What am I going to do in my 30s? How different is it going to be?
I am pretty sad and nostalgic. I don't know what the future holds. No one does. I am so afraid. I want a gf. Well what I really want right now is someone to hold and be comforted by. Like my life is going well right, but I am alone and lonely.
Tomorrow I'll celebrate my birthday. My parents are going to bake me a vegan birthday cake tomorrow. I'm happy they are here and that they are alive. They won't be around forever.
My basic goals for my 30th year is to just lose weight. I have no health problems, none,other than being overweight. I just need to drop down to like 150 pounds. If I could get down to that level from 179 pounds, where I am right now, then I'd be so happy. And my other goal is to get a girlfriend. Those are my goals for my 30th year. Obviously if I complete them within like 6 months, then I have to assign new goals.
Oh yeah, I have been vegan for the entirety of my 20s. I went vegan when I was 19, so my entire 20s has been vegan. That's pretty cool. Vegan should just be the norm, the killing animals part should be the abnormal. Being kind to animals and choosing not to kill and eat them shouldn't be the minority position.
Anyway that was my day today. That was my 20s. I hope my 30s are just as good.
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