Does anyone really care?

Most days I am optimistic and have a positive outlook. Today was just a . really hard day. I hate to cry. I really hate to cry. I know it is good to let it all out and release all the emotions we don't let people see. I am a strong woman who doesn't let anyone know the deep emotions that l experience. Yesterday, I was alone and allowed myself to experience all the range of emotions in my body. At one point, I let myself slide down the wall and balled my eyes out. The cathartic sounds that I released brought me to the ground. I have not weeped so deeply for a very long time. I had forgotten how healing it is to just let yourself express whatever it needs.

I am someone who is always there for others, takes care of those who need it and rarely allows others inside. I rarely ask for help, but you would think when you tell someone you are faced with an unknown health issue, that they would ask you how you are doing. No one seems to go there. Is this the norm these days? I am struggling more with the lack of care than the actual health problem. Even my family had no real reaction to what I told them. WTF? I need someone to ask me if I'm okay and if there is anything they can do to support me. Without this support, I feel like shriveling up into a small ball where I won't be missed.

I want to look on the bright side and focus on the good, but sometimes it is really hard. Most people in my life do not reach out and ask to do stuff with me. I am always the person to reach out. This has been such a normal part of my life and honestly, I don't like this. It makes me feel like I'm not worthy of friendship. But I know I'm a good friend who gives a lot. Why are people this way ?

Would it be bad to just be real and tell people in my life how I feel? How I feel so insignificant? How I feel like I don't matter? How would it feel to just be honest, without my own judgment?