Did some chores mainly

4:33 AM (of Wednesday, December 20th 2023)

Today is Tuesday, December 19th 2023 and I haven't done much the past few days. I don't remember at all what I did in them because they were so uneventful. Oh yeah, on Sunday, I did walk outside for 3-4 hours at the lineal park in Bayamon, I "completed the park", which is a phrase I made up for walking the full length of it.

So I think about Wahl often, and on Sunday I was thinking of messaging her again. I don't really have anything to say though that pretty much hasn't already been said. So I just messaged Ami with the crying face emoji "😭" and he was like, well I think we had some short text conversation first, and then he facetimed me and basically just told me to call her out of the blue. I was like bet, and said I would go to the park first though because I wanted to call her while walking or something. So I went to the park, after walking for around 20 minutes, I called her, and she didn't pick up. Then I walked for another 3-4 hours to complete the park, walking along its entire length. That was it.

I don't remember much about Monday. I don't remember anything about it at all, except I bought some cookies and soda from Costco, both supposed to be much healthier versions of regular cookies and soda. Still, I ate way too many cookies, like over 1200 calories worth, so I gave the remaining box of it to Eric and Guy when we met at the gym that night. Then we did some workouts.

So the way I've actually been tracking how much weight I can lift or do, is with one side. Like I put down my bench press as like 30 pounds? Whenever I wrote about it last. That's not even possible to do a bench press that light, because the bar itself is 44 pounds. I just marked that weight as the weight added to one side, so if I wrote down 30 pounds, it's actually 60 pounds added to both sides, plus the bar, is 104 pounds total. My bench press right now is actually 35 pounds (same one side weight logic), adding 2.5 pounds each time. I've only been to the gym twice since I was last in Puerto Rico, so I only added 5 pounds in a month.

Is it even a lot? It doesn't feel so hard to do this much, but I don't know. One thing that does feel hard for me right now, but I should technically be able to do more, since I can leg press over 450 pounds for reps, are the barbell squats. Right now my barbell squats are at 47.5 pounds on each side, plus the bar, so the total is around 140 pounds, I know it's 139 pounds, but I can just round it to 140. This feels hard to me right now. Is it even heavy? I have no idea. I should technically be able to do more, as I said, I was able to leg press 450 pounds or so, for 5 reps, last year, without any leg training at all, and I only did 5 because I had no idea what I was doing, and thought that was the standard amount to do.

I just looked up "140 pound squat" and found videos of people at 140 pounds doing over 300 pound squats. So yeah, I guess 140 pounds isn't that great, and I weigh around 175 pounds right now, which is awesome. I've lost weight during my vacation to Peru, and have kept it off this whole time. I want to drop down to like 165 pounds, actually my goal is 155 pounds, but I think once I hit 165 pounds, I will have visible six pack abs showing. Then that's when I would ask Wahl for a second chance. That's my plan this whole time, and I've told her too, not specifically getting six pack abs, but I told her my plan was to get much fitter.

Today though, Tuesday, I did a lot of chores in the morning. I painted my office this weekend, it was on Sunday. I remember because I told and showed Ami when he facetimed me. I let it aerate for the past few days, and today I picked up all the paper around it, because all the paint and stuff has dried already. I cleaned up the area. There was also this bowl I broke on Saturday I think, it dropped on the ground in the corner, and I just left it there for the past few days. I remember seeing some video as a kid where if you break a glass bottle or something like that, and I guess I applied it to broken bowls, if you wait a few days the edges become less sharp.

I don't know how that works, but I think it's due to sunlight melting the edges a bit or something. There is no sunlight in this room, but still, I left the shattered bowl there for the past few days. I was in bed and I just accidentally kicked it off the night stand, shattering it into a hundred pieces. I could have cleaned it up then and there, but I didn't. I think I also washed some dishes and did some other things today. I also did some work too. Like I said, it was a good day.

Anyway, yeah, that was it. I've been thinking of messaging Wahl again the whole day, since I'm still deeply enamored by her, but I need to be patient, wait until I lose another ten pounds, have six pack abs, then that would be the better time to message her again. It's really simple for me to be that weight too, I just have to not eat as much. I sabotage myself with the overeating though.

There's been several other girls I've been in contact with too. Wahl is still definitely my queen, she's the only one I think about at all, but there are other girls who have messaged me, I think because of my newest photos from Peru. They started the conversations with me, not the other way around, several women. It's interesting. All except one started with just "hi" or "hey" too, I think a total of 7 women messaged me, so not that much, but I didn't pursue them first. Wahl is still my goal, but I still like talking to other women too. It's so random to get messaged by them, I wasn't expecting it, but it's cool.

Honestly I think at least one conversation has fallen off because I thought she was a bot. Her profile photo just looks amazing, like she's beautiful, and I just kept prying to whether she's real or not, asking for other photos and social networks, and I think that made her fall off. I actually did a reverse image lookup on her profile photo and came up with no results. Based on that, she's a real person.

I've been trying to get back into Emacs and Org Mode again today. It's pretty hard. I mastered this stuff years ago, but I forgot a lot of it now, and I'm not as organized now. It's hard, not just using the software itself, but actually doing the work.

I also walked outside at night, for apparently around 4000 steps only. I only walked around the neighborhood though There is this nearby lineal park, like 12 minutes away, but I hate walking in it. I hate walking in it because there are some loops in there, where the path forks into the left and right and it goes in a loop, and everyone always goes to the right side. Well I want to go left because I like going clockwise instead of counterclockwise, but if I do, I just walk by so many people walking the opposite way, and it feels so antagonizing being the only person walking on the left path.

It's so stupid, but the reason I want to walk clockwise is due to luck and superstition. It is just seen as good luck to go clockwise instead of counterclockwise. It's stupid, I know, but I've fallen to it.

Anyway, that was my day today.