Back At It, my life and accomplishments so far

11:24 PM

The past few days have been pretty good. I don't remember all that much, but three nights ago, Eric and I had a pretty good discussion on incremental improvement. Incremental improvement is the name I gave to the concepts outlined in books like Atomic Habits, The Compound Effect, and The Slight Edge. I think the Slight Edge is the originator of this concept. I read The Slight Edge in 2012, and I wish I had applied its concepts throughout the entirety of time I knew about it.

I still made some better decisions at least due to that book, such as not getting into debt, going vegan, doing walking exercises pretty much daily, and doing good work every day (or at least I try to). The idea of incremental improvement is the concept that tiny habits or any decision in the moment, can have tremendous impact down the line. Even if a decision doesn't seem like it would affect much, no matter how tiny the decision is, it will eventually make all the difference in the world.

So Eric and I had a discussion about that, I basically taught him what I learned from reading those three books, and we were both pumped to apply their concepts to real life. Things can still be frustrating, I can still feel very inadequate, despite having achieved relatively a high amount in my life so far. Eric already knows about some of my accomplishments because I brought them up the other day while we were dropping off Guy, and Kevin was there too, so four of us. Here are some of my accomplishments and what age I did them:

• Age 8/9 came to the United States from the Philippines
• Age 9 created my first website, coolmegg.tk, surprisingly this website is actually archived by web.archive.org from 2004 or so
• From ages 9-12, I basically just played games like Diablo 2, Runescape, Gunz, Maplestory, World of Warcraft, Warcraft 3, all day. I was exceptional and above average in every game I played
• Age 12 created my first YouTube account in March 2006, by age 13 in October 2006 I made a video that reached over 100k views, you can search for it as Mirandas Private Server, a 13 year old made this. I'd go on to make several videos that got over 100k views at this age. Keep in mind this was 2006, YouTube was brand new, I learned how to edit and make videos all on my own, no guides or tutorials, YouTube was the wild west at this time.
• From ages 12-15 I'd keep on making videos, playing games, I had a lot of random adventures and memories
• Age 15 Created my first .com website, three years later by age 18 this website would get over 1 million unique visitors per month
• From ages 15-19, I did a lot of stuff. I worked on my website, I worked on writing, I worked on images, programming, more videos. I did a little bit of everything. I have a lot of accomplishments during this time too, they're minor, but also still impressive.
• Age 19 Created my first business LLC, Created another .com website that got around 100k to over 1 million views per month
• Age 21 got my first full time job without a degree, and also bought my first brand new car
• From age 21-27 I just worked a lot. Had some dates and adventures here and there of course, no relationship. I wasted a lot of time too, I read a lot of manga, I watched a lot of anime. I traveled a bit I think.
• Age 27 Moved out of my parent's home, bought my first home in cash (it's a condo not a house), created a profitable business, first IRL girlfriend
• Age 29 Got 5+ million views on my tweets on Twitter
• Age 30+: Unknown

So now that I list these out, they're not that great.

I mean this is a basic summary of my life. In between these, there are some minor accomplishments I am proud of too, like one of my videos I made in 11th grade being shown several times to entire schools. There are several comments in that history video I made that say things like "I came back for the music, they showed this at my school assembly," and there are several of these comments from different years. It's cool to have a video you made shown to a lot of people.

Another random accomplishment is that in January 2022, I played Mobile Legends for literally the first time in my life, and I got like a 16-0 kills to deaths in my first game that I played, the second game was 17-0, the third was 16-0. This was me never having played this game in my entire life before. I quit when I got 30-0 in a game, and had an 82% win streak or so, out of like 25 games. I don't remember. I got ranked in the 3000s because I got that insanely hard to get achievement, getting 30 kills 0 deaths in 1 game. There were top players in the top 100, and 99% of them didn't have that achievement. All I know is that I had never played that game before, but I dominated every single game I played. I don't have any proof except for screenshots, and if my account is still there, then my account.

I made several videos I am extremely proud of. There's "Best In Bike Race Rank 1", another is "Ijji Gunz Hacks [August 26 2011]" because the music just syncs so well to the videos. I am also putting their names in quotes so anyone can find them on YouTube if they are interested. I am of course also extremely proud of "Mirandas Private Server", because I made that in 2006 as a 13 year old. It looks like a much older and more experienced person made that video, and that video went viral. I put my email address in that video, and I remember getting tens of emails per day. Literally per day. I felt like a celebrity and that the fame would never end, but it eventually did.

I made some songs in 2022 that are on Spotify, Apple Music and Amazon music, available on all the music streaming platforms.

I made countless apps and games and websites, that are probably no longer around and weren't that good, but some were really good. I have done so much with computers, I am proficient in all operating systems, I've typed at over 190 words per minute, I have done a lot of crazy things that I think are so impressive and crazy. I created a scripting language, I've created a personalized ArchLinux build that was basically keyboard only, I've programmed games on the TI calculators and even Casio calculators.

Just lots of random things to name. Anyway, knowing that I accomplished these things, he said I was a prodigy because no other 9 year old was making websites, no other 12-13 year olds were making YouTube videos when YouTube was brand new in 2006 and getting over 100k views on videos. Few high school students were making websites that were getting over 1 million visitors per month. Few 27 year olds have been able to fully outright buy a home at that age.

So despite these accomplishments, I still have struggles. Things have never really been easy for me, and I am saying that as someone that is accomplished and comfortable in life. I have always been alone and lonely, just struggling with my existence, sometimes creating and excelling because I have nothing better to do. I think Mary was an excellent partner, I felt comfortable with her, but now I'm alone. I struggle with existentialism, I struggle with having to do everything on my own without any help.

The bills, I can pay them. But I do have to pay them alone, and I also have to do grocery shopping alone. I have to work alone. I have to fill up gas alone. I have to type this journal entry alone. I have to clean my home alone, on my own. I have to do everything alone and on my own. I desperately seek someone to love me and help me take care of things, nothing has ever been easy. Yeah, I do have it easier than most people, but I did that on my own, and it wasn't easy, like I said, everything is a struggle even if I am comfortable, even if I am successful, nothing has ever been easy or straightforward.

In my previous journal entry from 4 or so days ago, I wrote about how I was about to get injured, feeling those vibes that day. Yesterday (Monday), I worked out again and was completely fine. I did all my dailies that day too without any issues. So I think that day was just a pretty bad day for me, and then I recovered after a day of rest, and then I was back to normal and even stronger than before.

Today I did a lot. I did my dailies of 7 pull ups, 7 chin ups, 31 push ups in a row. I did an abs workout. I did cardio for at least an hour. And of course I did some cleaning, washing the dishes, sweeping the floors, and I did the brain training exercises as well.

Oh yeah, I also worked on catching up on my finances a bit today. Finally. This was so hard and it took me the entire day. I was able to get two accounts for 2021 done. This was so painful to do.

It rained a lot and some water got into my gym. I put these flat foam covers on the ground, so for weight lifting you can just drop the weights on the floor and it won't crack the ground. Water got underneath these, so I had to pull them out. While moving the bench, the underside of it started to flake, leaving some dark residue on my fingers when I touched it, and I hated that, so I disassembled it and threw all the parts away. This took me like an hour to do.

I did some grocery shopping today too.

Anyway, I still feel like I haven't done enough in life yet. I still feel so inadequate and that I could have done a lot more in my life. I'm already 30 but I currently have no direction.

I'm tired and sleepy. I'd write more about my thoughts and everything but I am too tired to keep going. Time to go to sleep and continue working on things tomorrow.