Exercised a decent amount

11:44 PM

Yesterday it turns out I took around 18k steps, and today I took even more at 19k steps. Overall, I would say I worked out basically the same amount. I went to the gym yesterday too, right? I don't actually even remember. I honestly do not remember if I went to the gym yesterday because every day feels as familiar as the next. I'm pretty sure I did go to the gym though.

Today I focused mainly on fitness. I walked through the forest in the morning and took a slightly longer route home taking 9k steps. I came back home, ate a little, then rested and browsed the Internet for a while. Then I walked to the gym and worked out for a little bit, like 10 minutes, and then came back home again and rested. After browsing the Internet again for a while, I walked in the forest again and took the same longer path home, taking another 9k steps. I briefly went to the gym again one last time to do one set of pull ups and dumbbell curls, just making sure that my biceps get really sore, as I type this they aren't sore at all.

That was my whole day in summary.

During the Internet browsing before walking outside in the forest a second time, I posted a photo of myself from 2014 when I was 230+ pounds, maybe even 250 pounds to be honest, and then this photo of myself from November 2023, when I was 173 pounds. I gained 13 pounds since last year and I look way different even though it's just a measly 13 pounds. I don't like my current appearance so much right now and I'm trying to get down to 173 again and below.

Today actually feels like such a long day, and yesterday felt pretty long too, and I did roughly the same things today as yesterday, that's why they're both kinda melding together. I'm even having trouble just remembering the people I encountered this morning in the forest. Since I've walked through the forest so many times, I'm doubting the people I encountered this morning, thinking that I must've encountered them days ago, but no I'm sure it was today. It's just so weird, when you do an activity enough times, your memories merge and they get muddled up.

I had hundreds of Tae Kwon Do classes when I was a kid in elementary school, and I got my black belt in 7th grade I think. I can still perform all of the kicks that I learned, can kick above my head, and so on. I drove by that place recently, and found them to have gone out of business. They were around for decades. But anyway, I've had hundreds, maybe even over a thousand classes. I went to them three times a week, every Monday-Wednesday-Friday, practicing kicks, forms, exercising, socializing, sparring, for several years. I don't remember any specific class anymore.

I've attended literally so many Tae Kwon Do classes, that all of them are just thin and sparse memories now. I can't think of a specific date that I attended nor can I recall one lesson from start to end, I just have short memories and events from the many different times I attended. I don't even remember the forms anymore, except for maybe the white belt or yellow belt forms. You have to perform this "form" or "technique dance" composed of different movements like kicks, blocks, turns, shouts, steps, stances, and so on per belt level. Each form gets harder and longer per belt, and I don't remember any of them now, again, except the very simple first one or two.

I enjoyed Tae Kwon Do, learning the kicks, learning the forms. Let's see if I can recall every belt level: No belt, white belt, yellow belt, orange belt, green belt, blue belt, brown belt, high brown belt, red belt, high red belt, bo black belt, and black belt. I'm not sure if I remembered it correctly. I looked it up again online, and it's very different, like there's a striped orange belt, but the place I went to didn't have that. They were also a WTF, World TaeKwonDo Federation, approved place, my black belt is certified by the WTF under my birth name, which is different than my current name now.

I think I also got my Eagle Scout under my birth name. Hmm. Yeah. I need to find my Eagle Scout card and take a picture of it. Let's see if I can remember the Boy Scout ranks: Scout, Tenderfoot..... I don't remember..... Life, then Eagle. I just looked it up, it's Scout, Tenderfoot, Second Class, First Class, Star, Life, Eagle. Only 1% get to Eagle and I got it. I joined very late too, when I was already 15. I only had less than 3 years to get Eagle. It is very possible to get, but very difficult too. There's so many requirements. You just have to attend every meeting and read the books, get all the merit badges, do the Eagle project and other requirements, and there you go.

Boy Scouts is a very social club. To get the merit badges, you have to contact a local expert on that subject, and they have to know all the requirements for that merit badge, and then you're tested and you have to perform whatever is required, maybe even pass a written test. They are basically all adults I think, that distribute the merit badges, and you often have to meet up with them sometimes at their homes or a public place like a pool, to get tested.

I think I'm a really shitty person sometimes. The people at Boy Scouts helped me a lot, were so kind to me, and helped me get Eagle. I couldn't have done it without them. But I basically ghosted all of them. I haven't made contact with any of them let alone seen any of them in over a decade. These are people I've camped with, went skiing with, hung out with, saw in school, hung out with after school.

There were some really smart people in Scouts. One person not in my troop, but was another scout I met in school, he could name like 30+ different plants. Like wtf. I remember we were walking at the school track, and there's trees and lots of different plants growing all around. He would just point at any of them and name them. At the time I thought this wasn't impressive, that this was an ability I could learn too. One of the merit badges does require you to name and identify like 20+ plants or something like that, in the wild. The test is like, you view nearby plants or something and identify 20 of them to the merit badge tester, something like that. So yeah I was able to somewhat get this ability, but I forgot them all now. I can't name any plants except maybe stinging nettle, poison oak, poison ivy, poison sumac.

I think as an adult maybe we drift apart from our friends? Or maybe my personality is just contemptuous and unbearable. I don't think I could hang out with friends who are not vegan. Obviously I've done this hundreds of times, if not thousands of times over the years. My coworkers were pretty much all non-vegan, I had coworkers I hung out with every day at work, some close enough that we'd see each other after work a few times, I've visited some of their homes. Now that I've had vegan friends in real life to hang out with though, it's such a different dynamic.

Speaking of other groups I've ghosted, like my boy scout group, I was in a fraternity in college. I deleted my Facebook account and dropped out of college, and when I re-opened it I didn't re-add any of them because I opened it years later, after they had all graduated and probably don't even remember me anymore anyway. I feel bad for ghosting people, but is there really any other way?

I've had some best friends in video games, and we ghosted each other after quitting. One of us would eventually quit the game and stop logging on. I had friends like _Raven177, Antonio22 or something I don't remember who was actually a viewer of mine from YouTube and that I became friends with, Alaphas aka Nate and his sister Hailey, and some other random ones. I mean I had hundreds of friends in game. I've met thousands of people in games. I don't remember them all.

Speaking of events and days that are similar to each other that we tend to forget them: school days. There's 180 days of school in a year, and I've attended over 1800 days of schooling, that they also all merge together and I barely remember them. I have memories here and there, don't get me wrong, but homework assignments and lessons, and full school days, I can't recall them all. Same with work, we have even more days of work. They also just merge together. All the hours of driving. All the hours of browsing. Barely any memories from them at all.

I am really sleepy.

Anyway, that was my day today.