Stayed at home the whole day

11:57 PM

I actually like the Instant Death anime I wrote about yesterday. The opening is humbling, showing a vast array of characters, many of whom die to the main character's instant death ability. You can get a lot of spoilers from watching the intro alone, as it shows which characters are killed by his ability through the circle wobbling on top of them before they disintegrate. It's a very humbling opening because although not all characters have that circle wobbling effect on them, all of them disintegrate, showing that they still die, though not through the main character.

It's a humbling opening reminding us that we are all mortal, and that we all will die and perish one day. While we are alive, we have this illusion that we are immortal. It's hard for us to imagine not existing, although one can sort of imagine it by just thinking about the eons that passed by prior to our birth. When I was 16, yeah I did think I was immortal, a lot of 16 year olds do. I'm double that age now, well almost, at 31. I've lived two lifetimes compared to that 16 year old. My dad has lived two lifetimes compared to me, he's over 65.

I still have this illusion that I will be young and healthy forever, that I'm going to be 31 forever. I think I've always had this illusion. When I was 27, I thought I would be 27 forever, and so on for any other age, and yet it ends. I just turned 31, but I know I'm going to be 32 before I know it. My entire 20s passed by in the blink of an eye. 10 years. I lived so much and have done so much in those 10 years, and yet they're all gone now, vanished.

While alive it's important to know what we want to do with our lives and what we want to dedicate our lives to. This can be different per each of us. No matter what it is too, we can live a life without harming and killing animals by being vegan. My entire 20s has been vegan, and I've accomplished a lot in that time period. There were no limits for what I was able to accomplish, I think I was able to accomplish more as I think I'm much more conscious of life and living when I'm aware of the torture and killing around me. Anyway, that's what I just recommend.

I'm still not actually sure what I want to dedicate my life to. I love love. But do I want kids? Am I going to have kids? I don't know. I want accomplishments. I like excelling and performing well. I want to set some world records in fitness, though it's going to be nigh-impossible unless I dedicate all that I am to that goal, and even then it'll be hard. Do I want to become a billionaire? That's also another nigh-impossible dream that nearly no one will accomplish. Things aren't easy for any of us, although I am enjoying every day.

There are a lot of great manga, manhwa, and manhua, yet I don't even know their creators, I don't know their artist nor writers. I don't even know who created Naruto, at some point I did, but I forgot his name already. Do I want to create a fictional character that will be remembered for all time? I'm fine with my own name not being remembered, as long as a fictional character I made is.

Do I want to make great music? Star in a movie? Create an app / program everyone uses? I'm in my 30s so I should already have answers to all these, but I don't. The reason most people don't accomplish anything is because they're too busy with their lives. Too many events, too many relationships, too much work, to be able to focus on any one thing. I struggle with this too. Even though I do have the free time, it still takes work and effort to accomplish anything great, and that's what makes those accomplishments great.

Anyway, I pretty much did nothing the whole day. It was a typical day as any other I've written about recently. Nothing different. I went to the gym at night too. I still have so many tasks I want to work on but haven't even started yet. Anyway, that was my day today.