July 10, 2020

Another Alright Day

10:10 PM

Homework and Sleep

I fell asleep last night at around 12:30 AM, I was so tired and sleepy but I had to finish up my homework. I don't know what grade I'll get on that assignment because I was drowsy while doing it. The questions just did not make that much sense to me, and so I just answered them as best as I could. I probably worked almost two hours on that assignment, I think, it took a long time to complete, but I probably did not do that well.

Waking Up and Relapsing

I woke up at around 5 AM. Yep it was that early. I ended up studying a bunch, but then I relapsed three times that morning. Yes three times. I studied a lot, but since I woke up so early I felt like I had so much time available, and so I relapsed three times. It's all good though, I guess. I wrote a private entry about the events. I can't believe I wrote last night that I would never relapse again, ha, that's funny. I'm going to avoid saying things like that in the future because there's many chances of that happening again.


Anyway after that work started and it was a normal day. It was a Friday, and I guess people were still chill from the 4th of July, like I said yesterday there wasn't much activity going on in my inbox, and the same thing happened today. I didn't get any new emails the whole day and only worked on a few items here and there.


After work I studied directly for a few hours. Studying isn't so hard anymore. I used to dread such an activity, but I could study for an entire day now probably, and do nothing else. You know what? I'm going to try that tomorrow. There are a bunch of things I need to complete, and so I'll study tomorrow for the whole day and do nothing else.

At around 7:30 PM my computer froze. Before this I was contemplating whether or not to go out for a walk today, and my computer freezing serendipitously sealed the deal. It was time to go out for a walk.

Walking Outside and Wealthy Neighborhood

I drove over to the wealthy neighborhood again and just started walking. These guys in this neighborhood, there's probably thousands of residents in this area since there's lots of townhomes, and other clustered residences (the townhomes alone are around $500k to $900k, with $700k being average, and yes I just looked up the prices just now, and that's why I call this "the wealthy neighborhood"), but no one goes out for a walk here.

This is prime real estate for walking but literally no one is outside. I go to this wealthy neighborhood to park, and then I walk to this other area across the street, I have to cross a 6-8 lane highway to get to this deserted sidewalk on the other side, which can be dangerous to go through, and therefore a reason why no one ever walks across here. There is a crosswalk and a stoplight intersection to cross the street, it's just such a massive highway and so many cars and traffic go through here at 55 mph speeds that not many people even attempt it. I wrote about my first encounter with this highway crosswalk, I turned around as soon as I reached it because there was no way I would cross. Now I'm crossing it all the time and I'm like a master of walking across this highway.

There's nothing on the other side of the street anyway, and that's why I go there. I have spent hours upon hours walking on this sidewalk, and I have not encountered anyone ever on the first roughly 65% or so of it. It's only after 65% of the way through one way, probably 3500 steps in (which means another 3500 steps going back), do people start appearing. And when people start appearing, it's usually one or two people the entire rest of the way. I have probably spent 20-30 hours or more walking on this sidewalk, and I have only encountered like maybe 20 people at the most. I encountered 0 people today.

This is unlike my neighborhood area, where if I walk, it's guaranteed like every 2-3 minutes there's going to be somebody I encounter. It doesn't matter where I go either, I have been everywhere around my neighborhood. There is always people everywhere. So that deserted sidewalk I always go to is quite the find, because no one else goes there ever. That's why I walk there with my shirt off now, and I did that today too. I walked with my shirt taken off and just had the sun shine on me.

Relapsing a Fourth Time

When I got home I relapsed again. So I relapsed four times total today. I relapsed 4 times on the 8th, and I relapsed 4 times again today, 3 times were in the morning. It's so hard for me to resist though. I have put on some security systems and defenses for me not to be able to relapse, but since I put them up, I know how to take them down, I just do all the steps in reverse. I do a bunch of weird steps too, guaranteed no one else would be able to figure out how to work around what I set up since only I know how to make it work. Well there's probably less than 10 people in the entire world who could get it to work.

According to something I just read just now, I am naturally phenomenally healthy in this area. Way above average probably. I relapsed four times today, and four times on July 8th.

I don't know. I'm done relapsing though. I said this yesterday too, but I'm serious. It is an urge that appears. and I am going to have to accept that it will always appear.


Oh boy do I have a plan for tomorrow. I have to wake up, close off and renew the Habitica challenges I host. That's the first thing. The next thing is to study! The entire day I plan on studying and finishing all the chapters in this one thing I'm studying. If I do that, I don't know if I can actually do that, but if I do that... What should the reward be? No, not relapsing. Hmm, the reward is that I'll know what I studied. I think that's the perfect reward.

Written by JustMegawatt

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