11:53 PM
I flew back to Virginia a few days ago. I've done this so many times now that I'm extremely used to it. I wore a vegan shirt through the airport again, woohoo! It felt empowering.
Christmas came and went. My parents and I celebrated it at an aunt's place, and they have a pretty big home, two of my relatives' families live in it. They are cool people, provided a lot of vegan foods for my parents and I. Also I wore a vegan shirt that said "I love animals. I don't eat them" with animal graphics on them, and everyone only gave positive comments and responses.
I talked to one of my cousins for most of the night. He lives in San Francisco and works as a chip developer. Super complicated field, and he graduated from TJHSST, formerly the top high school in the entire United States for a long time, until recently when they decided to remove standardized testing to get in. I applied to get in back in the day, and took the test to get in, and was not admitted. I had a few friends who were admitted though. We were all straight A students in middle school, good at all the subjects and took the most difficult classes offered for our grade, but yeah I didn't prepare for it at all, and didn't do that well.
We also had a white elephant gift exchange. There was a drawing for the numbers to see who went in what order, what was extremely lucky is that I got 1, which meant I would be the first person to go and that I would get a chance to steal any present I wanted to at the end. On the first opening, I chose this small box, and got a Leaf Razor, which I'd find out later was a $90 razor, What an extremely cool gift. At the end I could have swapped my gift for anything else, but I was satisfied with this compared to all the other gifts. There were some other really nice ones but I was happy with this one. I don't really shave though, so I gave it to my dad.
I guess today, I just ate and worked out, and browsed the Internet. Honestly I don't even remember anything else that happened. My dad and I went to Marshall's today too, got some dates and edamame, and these two string toothpicks, and a bag of dried mulberries, and that was it. After the gym, my dad and I went to Costco and got some more food. That was literally my whole day.
Also, Wahl texted me again last night, and responded to my bunch of messages again today. I haven't responded to her yet, I'm not ready yet. I also wished some of my friends like Mary Merry Christmas, and I also have some messages to respond to from her. My friend Ami wished me a Merry Christmas, and we chat for a bit yesterday. Today went by like a blur though.
For some reason right now, I feel extremely tense and stressed and anxious. I don't know why. Literally nothing is going on. There are some thoughts I've had that are potentially stressful, thoughts to do with getting mail from my inbox in Puerto Rico. That's the most stressful thing in my life right now, is getting mail. I'm too stressed to even write more detail about it right now, and I'm not being sarcastic or facetious. They've been holding my mail for a month now, due to some repair with the inbox or something, and I don't know most of the mail I've gotten. I've gotten some of the mail, I picked up from the post office, but don't know how much is left. I am stressed.
Oh yeah, I'm also stressed by the fact that no one is helping me out in my life. I'm stressed and want someone to hold. I feel like I help everyone and I give everyone everything, and no one is here to help me. I pay my parent's mortgage and their HOA and I don't even live there. They can't support themselves without me. I give my friends gifts worth hundreds of dollars too. I help them with my time and labor. They get fame and opportunities. I get nothing. No credit. No favors in return. It's also stressful feeling like I am here to just do things for everyone else.
The Christmas party event I went to was a unique thing where I finally felt like I wasn't the person doing it all. I didn't host the venue nor make any meals, nor brought any meals, and my parents were the ones who got the presents and prepared them too. Yeah I'm whining and complaining about nothing. I realize that. It just feels a little stressful feeling like I am responsible for so much, and feeling like I'm being used a lot. Oh yeah, I didn't have to gift them any presents nor help my friends with any labor or time either, that was all voluntarily me.
Anyway, I'm glad my parents are still around.
Anyway, that was my day today.
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