Trying new things

Okeey hi my journal,

i only write in my notebook when i need to express myself soo bad that is not even a choice

Writing feels like begging for help

but i want to try.

soo in my life...

i will end my theraphy

so i think new healthy habit will be beneficial for me

i feel pretty stressed about it, i dont know if i should end theraphy, cause i dont feel good. I am tired. Of life. I want to sleep. I have problems with sleep nowaydays, thats new to me cause i have always slept for many hours. I just think too much. About my friends, about myself, about problems. I feel so empty. Even now, i am writing this i feel weird cause its in english, not my language. Feels like its not my emotions. Right now my alter ego is writing this shit and i am watching her. Depends of the time if i like her. I would like to get to know her. Help her. However i would like to help everyone, so that does not help with my self love. I need to improve this. This and my english language. I have to try. I am trying. All my life, i am trying to be better, it does not feel better tho. Maybe this time. This time I will try harder. I hope to find the energy to do that. I hope to not feel this way. It will get better, it must. It's not that bad either way.

Pretty depressed but full of hope

XYZ