Everything and nothing

Hii everyone!

New day, new entry or something haha

Soo today i felt angry. This may sound like normal thing but i do not get angry. Okey like i can get irritated but not like full thing. My anger is automatically changed into sadness and fear. Cool mechanism i know i created it myself (: (I AM WORKING ON IT I PROMISE)

My parents pissed me off, they said they agree and now they are changing their mind. I hate that so much. Why people change their mind all the time? It was important for me. Okeey i maybe overreacting cause i wanted to get something but i was hoping so much i could get it and my parents aprove. And now what? Nothing. I will not get this. Oh fuck off! (sorry)

I sound angry but i do not know if i really feel it. I feel emptiness. and a little anger. Thats great (i am terrifed of this feeling)

So new year goal i want to express my negative emotions

I know that here i look depressed but i am in real life the most optimistic and happy person ever. My friends calls me sunshine. They say that i remind them of the sun. But here i am, when i start writing even possitive things and do not care about others opinion i write sad stuff. I think i am a little sad human, that just wants to be safe and wear a happy face to feel this way. I write a lot about feeling. I love feeling. I hate this too. I want to feel all. And nothing. That does not make a lot of sense.

but it does not have to make sense. It's my journal. Emotions do not not make sense either. That's the beuty of life.

Full of everything

XYZ