11:58 PM
So I've gained weight again. I was 174.8 pounds this morning, and yesterday I was 175.1 pounds. Two weeks ago I was in the 173 pound range, so it sucks to have gained weight and I hate it. I just have to keep at it though. I've pretty much been trying to get into the 150 pound range since 2016 and have never gotten below 170 pounds in 8 years.
In high school and college I was in the 180s and 190s range, even as a freshman in my first day of high school I was already over 180 pounds. So if we count those days too, I have never been under 170 pounds in 16 years, even though I've always made it my goal to be. In high school I was in Marines military training, I don't remember how frequent it was, but I'd do running and physical exercises with others who wanted to join the military. I was also in weight lifting class and P.E. classes in high school. In college I was in ROTC, and had PT (physical training) every Monday, Wednesday, Friday, for 2-3 hours, and did this for months. Despite all this, I was never healthy.
Reflecting back on that, that's insane. Apparently I've been extremely unhealthy basically my entire life, despite putting in so much effort to improve my health. That is pretty crazy. Maybe I'm just genetically unhealthy? In ROTC and the marine training, I would always be in last place in every fitness activity. Like hiking for example, we had to carry 30-70 pounds on a rucksack (I don't remember), and hike like 4 miles (I don't remember), and I would be in last place. For every morning running that we did, I'd always be in last place, way behind everyone. Obviously, now I would be doing a lot better, I can run pretty well now, but back then, I was always last.
In high school, I remember my cholesterol and triglycerides would be extremely high, and I also had high blood pressure as a high school student. My blood pressure went back to the normal range back in 2016 and 2017, but was high again in 2020 during COVID, and currently I think I still have high blood pressure, though I haven't checked in years. I've always had healthy cholesterol after going vegan in 2013, it never went to the high range again (though I've only tested this once in 2019), but I think I still have high triglycerides just due to being overweight.
Weight loss and health improvement is really hard and difficult. It's time I admit to this fact, because even in high school and college, my teen years, it's always been a goal of mine to be healthy and fit. Always. Yet it never happened at my physical prime. It did happen in my early 20s though, I went vegan when I was 19, and my health improved a lot, but I still wanted to be healthier and healthier. I still haven't gone under 170 pounds let alone the 150s pound range which is where I want to be.
My body composition has definitely changed though. Even though I was in the lower 170s weight range back in 2016 and 2017, I was mostly fat, probably higher than 20% fat. My endurance was arguably higher back then, but I have much more muscle now. From my smart scale, it says I'm 17% fat. It's been around that range for months, maybe for over a year. For the fitness people though, they want to get single digit body fat % which is what it takes to look lean and ripped. I don't know if I want to get that low myself, I just want to become fit and healthy. Though I also do want to look lean and ripped, most of that can be achieved with 15% body fat, lower just makes muscle more pronounced, so maybe I'd make it a goal to reach 11% body fat.
When I was in the lower 170s pound range back in 2016 and 2017, I couldn't do a single pull up. The most push ups I could probably do was 5. Now I can do 11 pull ups in a row, and over 40 push ups in a row in the same weight range. So I've improved a lot in this area. Now it feels like improving takes forever. I'm stuck around this weight range. I've done hundreds of pull ups, thousands of push ups, walked hundreds of thousands of steps the past 2 months, and I've been stuck in this weight range with not much improvement. It's because I eat too much at times, sometimes 4000 calories in a single day. It sounds unbelievable, but I do it. It cancels out any workout and any improvement I do.
And yeah the "easiest" way to lose weight is to just fast. To just not eat anything for days at a time. I've done a two week fast, eating 0 food, just water, for two weeks. I've done a two week fast twice, once in 2021, and I think in 2023. This was the catalyst in 2021 that brought me from 209 pounds to 180 pounds (and then I was in the 185 pound range for like a year or two). The problem is that it's hard to fast for even a single day. No matter how much intention I have in doing it, even as someone who has done it before, it's hard to even fast for a day, let alone 3, let alone 14. Hunger strikes, and it's extremely hard to control, even with all the knowledge and preparation that it's all for the best and that it's healthy.
I might try fasting again.
12:52 AM (of Thursday, January 9th 2024)
Yeah, I'm fasting again. I just took a bunch of before pictures. I'm curious to find out what will happen with my muscle gains and appearance if I fast again. The last two times I did a 14 day fast, only health improvements happened from losing weight. I don't know how much stronger or weaker I got though, because I wasn't doing any exercises at the time. I have a prediction that my calisthenics will improve, but my weight lifting amount will be weakened. So I'll be better at doing pull ups, chin ups, push ups, squats, but will have a harder time doing bench press, deadlifts, weighted squats, that's my prediction anyway.
For my appearance, I think my appearance will improve dramatically. My face will improve, my body will improve. Maybe I might even start to show some abs? I hope I don't lose so much muscle though that I look skinny-fat instead. I look muscular-fat right now. I don't look skinny-fat, but that might change with a fast. I'm going for a 7 day fast initially, with a plan to extend that to a 14 day fast if I can make it that long.
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