Wieczny mąż - book and yapping

Hiii journal,

I have just finished a new book. I started it today tho. Yeah that was fun.

This book was called Povesti by Dostojewski. I felt like the main character Wielczaninow. I think we are pretty simillar. This book reminds me of time when I was at low point in life. But i survived just like him and now he has changed for the better. He was more angry than me tho. Anger was his main motivation. This was interesting to read because of that. Even tho anger was significant emotion in his life, in the end he forgiven his friend for trying to kill him. I did not know Dostojewski was also funny. It was fun to read this book. This work made me think about people and their inpact on individual lifes. Some people need more inpact. Like they do not want take responsibility of their lifes. Why? Cause that's easier. Easier to just give control to the other person. I have trust issues but if not I think sometimes I would do that. I am doing that even now. Small things like breakfest or living in house that I do not pay for (love my parents) impacts me. And other people acction or just their existence also impacts me. That is weird to think about that we are not individual. We are a collection of other people's influences and experiences accumulated throughout our lives.

I've always thought, why I like meating people so much. I think that's why. I love knowing. I love that their opinions impacts on me. I am open to every one of them. Of course if it does not harm anyone. I think I am very open person. In the beggining. Later I am running from them. I am just scared. That they would hurt me. Or leave me. But i know that they will cause there is not other option. Fear is irractional.

I would not be this type of eternal wife/husband that Dostojewski writes about. I just could not. I never though about people like that. I think this book gave me another perspective of seeing people. I am grateful for it.

Another day another slay (SPOILER ALERT TWO MAN ARE KISSING IN THIS BOOK omgg gay couple)

Full of new observations