Love

Hi my journal,

Okey so today i stayed at home cause i felt sick.

I read a book! Loveless- about asexual girl and her love

Platonical love. This book show us how much we could be grateful for our relationships. Our friends. Our family that we choose not that was chosen for us. That's so beautiful. I love my friends.

I can see that they care about me too. I am scared to say that cause i think everybody will leave me if they would know me well. They know maybe part of me but they choose to stay. They are not forced to or something. I have to belive that they just love me. Like I love them. There is love in this world. I have this love in my heart so why would not them. I am so grateful to have them. They mean so much to mee.

Even if sometimes I wish I could be more alone, they always cheer me up. They are there if i need them. I had a hard breakup and they were with me. They saw me crying lots of times. and they were not bored of me.

I am also really scared to open up about myself. I can talk about anything other than my feelings and that I am in a bad mood or state in life. I do not want them to worry about me. They do worry. I worry about them too. So much it hurts.

Love and pain are always connected. Always in some way. Big love comes with a lot of pain, however the pain is worth it. To experimence love is like experimencing everything. It feels like everything is possible and good. Love gives hope. I love life so i hope it will get better. I do not know if today is my bad day, or just this month, last years were bad that i want to experimence happiness so bad that i fake it. I love faking. I hate faking. I hate loving so much. I love not hating. I do not hate just love tho. Love is like a rose with thorns. Pretty but not safe.

Take the risk.

Love with all your soul

Full of love

XYZ