boylunches

newbie is always introducing us to new concepts and vocabulary. Last week, it was the concept of “boylunch.” “Okay,” he announced, “snack turned into really sad boylunch.”

“Wh-what's a boylunch?” said numbers.

“It’s like a hodgepodge of shit lying around that you make when you’re hungry and don’t feel like making anything,” said newbie. “Except malecoded. Boylunch would be like, slice of cold pizza, some briefly microwaved fries, and two slices of American cheese. Girllunch would be like, yogurt with celery drenched in French dressing plus an unwarmed Eggo waffle or something.”

Dante said, “Unwarmed Eggo waffle? What? Are we talking straight from the freezer or what?”

And that’s how it became public knowledge that HGR does, in fact, take Eggo waffles straight from the freezer and eat them.

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Before Wednesday’s V Rising session, I had a quick dinner of air-fried chicken strips and tater tots. Opinions were split on whether this counted as boydinner. newbie thought that air fried food was “too good” to be boydinner. I would’ve had to microwave them (or eat cold leftovers from the fridge). Dante asserted that modern boys have evolved to use air fryers, and it totally was a boydinner.

It was supposed to be the final V Rising session, since we only had Adam the Firstborn and Dracula to defeat. In fact I was hoping it would be a quick V Rising session and we could play BG3 afterwards. Nothing doing. Dracula turned out to be substantially harder than any boss before him. Besides the fact that he’s tanky and has difficult mechanics, you fight him in the shadow realm (so cool), and you can’t re-enter after respawning. No more infinite boss runbacks as long as one person stays alive in the boss arena.

After a few runs (none of which was remotely close), we decided we needed to prep for the fight. We re-killed Solarus and the Winged Horror to re-obtain their soul shards. (Soul decay is a silly mechanic. It makes sense in a huge pub server where you don’t want a single group to hog the shards forever, but not in a small closed server of friends playing co-op.) Then HGR went to fight Dracula solo to get a better sense of the mechanics, while the rest of us went to farm mats for 500 health potions, with an assist from newbie abusing his server powers to raise the drop/conversion rates. We now have 500 potions in a chest labeled “boylunches” next to the teleporter. We are so ready.