Running and Exercising

6:55 PM

A few days ago, Tuesday February 4th, I picked up my dad from the airport. He's been with me since, helping out around the house, basically just doing a bunch of cleaning, working on the garden, and other chores. We also exercise together at times.

This morning we went to the calisthenics park. I ran for a bit over two miles, while he walked. My pace is still really slow. My VO2 Max is still really low, it actually dropped. I was at 38 VO2 max prior to my fast, and now mine was at 36.5. It's so low. I am so slow at running too.

My strength is pretty much all back now though. I did 9 neutral pull-ups in a row after around 30 minutes of running, and after having done a few other exercises as well. When I did 11 neutral pull-ups in a row a few months ago as my personal best, I had just woken up from a nap, and I was refreshed and energized. This time after already having exercised, I did 9 in a row. I think this shows my strength is fully back.

My arms are smaller now though. I'm wearing a shirt now where the hole for my arms used to be tight around my arms. Now I can't even fill up the hole even when I flex all the way. When I used to flex all the way before, it would expand against a bit of pressure. I hate that my arms are smaller, but I guess that's the cost of losing weight, since most of it was fat. When I flex now though, there is a lot more definition to my arms, even if the circumference is smaller.

I've worked full time hours this entire week. It's tiring. I'm tired. Normally I don't, I worked mostly part-time hours, and still make a decent income and everything. Now due to wanting to do more productive things with my time, I've been working full time hours, 8+ hours a day. It feels nice. I'm stressed out though. I understand those past two sentences are contradictory, but I mean it feels good working and being useful, at the same time, I am stressed out by life situations.

Mary called me this morning out of the blue and we video chatted. She's my ex-gf. She looks good. She updated me on her life and career, upcoming plans and travels, exercises and activities she's been doing. She's doing really well at a young age. She's the most successful person I know now that's in their 20s. She's more successful than a lot of my friends in their 30s. She's kind of a wake-up call and a reminder to not slack off in life and that anything is possible.

I am pretty stressed. Not only about that, but for other life situations as well. Feeling the lowest I've felt in a long time. My sense of self-worth is at an all time low.