Halfway

3:53 AM (of Friday, February 14th, 2025)

Today is Thursday, February 13th, 2025, and I did a lot of things halfway today, not sure why. For my brain training and workouts, I did them halfway only, if that. I took only took around 6k steps today, when the goal was 10k. For work, I just worked for half my full-time hours. I think it started off with me doing some things halfway, and then it just spiraled into doing everything halfway today. I did do some vegan activism fully today though, which is just making a post or two on social media about not hurting animals, so it's hard to do halfway anyway.

I don't know if today was a good day or not. I weighed 160.2 in the morning, so I maintained my weight loss still from the fasting. Even though I feel like I've been eating a lot the past 1.5 weeks, I hadn't gained any weight, so I made an inappropriate call up today and give myself permission to eat way too much. I think I ate around 4000 calories today, resulting in a pound gain the next day. Yeah, it was a mistake that I never want to repeat again. I need to keep my daily calories below 2000 if I want to lose weight and gain muscle.

I texted a few people today. Someone rammed a pole through Eric's car's windshield today. Mandy told me she got her social security number and asked if she could have it mailed to my address. My friend from my past workplace and I have been texting a bunch, let's call him Butters. He's texted me a bunch the past week or two, we've been sending each other photos and updates of our lives since we left the old company.

So apparently I got laid off, not fired, in 2018. I've been telling people I got fired this whole time, but due to the circumstances getting a severance pay offer and all that, Butters says I got laid off. He says he also got laid off, and same with a bunch of people in the company, around a month or two after me. A bunch of people got laid off, and I didn't even know. Butters helped me out by being a reference for my new company after that, and one of my old bosses was also a reference. Man if things didn't work out exactly as they did, I would not be here where I am today.

I got my previous job through knowing someone too, my friend's girlfriend was a recruiter for this company, and she asked for my resume. I sent it in, they liked it, I got interviewed, they liked me, and I got the job after all my references and past had been verified. It was a programming job too, one I didn't even have a degree for, and my previous job had only little to do with programming. It had a bunch of different skill-sets needed, including design and programming, but wasn't purely or mainly programming like this new job was, though my title was Solutions Engineer which sounded fancy. My new title for this new job was Software Developer, and then a year or two later, Web Developer. I reached my dream job and title.

So Butters' has been updating me on his life. He got married, has a house, has a new job, and has traveled the world, to like 30 countries or something like that. I feel like a loser even though we're pretty much in the same circumstance, or that I'm in an even better circumstance, since he's like 5 years older than me. I could get married too, if that was my goal, if it were with just anyone. I could get a house too, if that was my goal, though I think I have enough for now though paying off my parent's mortgage. I could potentially also find some new job, but I like being a business owner. I could also travel the world, but I've already been to around 20 countries, and I want a girlfriend or someone I like to travel with.

I like Butters though. I also like Mary, my ex-girlfriend. These people are winners in my eyes, at least career-wise and financially. They are so open to me about their circumstances too. Mary called me up last week or so, and updated me on her fitness and life and career and everything. She's way ahead of me when I was her age, and I am a successful individual by all metrics. She's light years ahead of Wahl, Eric, Gus, in terms of career and finances, those three are much fitter physically and more attractive with abs and everything, but not doing as great in the career and finances area. I'm likely the most ahead in terms of business, career, finances, probably, but I'm also older than all of them, except Butters, and Mary is doing damn well at her age, way better than me. I think when she reaches my age, she'll probably have surpassed me at my age right now, too, but I'm not going to be slacking.

What are my next goals in life? I want to have six pack abs. Every day, I need to eat under 2000 calories, and eat a lot of protein, only from vegan sources obviously since any other source is unethical. This would be really simple if I could just control my appetite, but with eating 4000 calories in a single day, I sabotage myself.

I also worked on this thing called the Johnny Decimal System, which is a way of organizing everything. I started with an index of things to organize, and it's going well so far. It's very open ended, allowing for organization of anything in any way.

I was so bored at night that I read some manga. Maybe I shouldn't have? Anyway, that was my day today.