Messed Up Fasting, Restarted Again

2:25 AM (of Thursday, March 6th, 2025)

Today is Wednesday, March 5th, 2025, and I was supposed to be fasting again, attempting to go for only 120 hours, but I failed for some reason at 40 hours in. This was at around 4 PM today (Wednesday). Oh well.

The day started off well, already over 24 hours into my fast, since I started at 12:00 AM the day before. I walked outside in the morning, and just did some work throughout the day. The day went by slowly, as every day does when you are fasting.

I actually think it's great that the day goes by slowly while fasting, because you are more conscious of everything. When eating, a day can go by like a blur and you don't even notice, but when fasting, every moment can feel agonizing and you're conscious of it all.

I got some work done today which was nice. I enjoy being productive, it's great. The only problem is that I was extremely hungry at around 4 PM, and I caved. I tried but couldn't help myself, I ate a bunch of dried fruit that I had bought the other day for ending my fast, and it felt so great to eat again, so relieving. I did not really want to end my fast though, so I felt regret shortly afterwards.

For the next few hours I ate again, probably over 3000 calories, which is fine. That's pretty much typical already of how much I eat in a day, and I haven't gained any weight back at all since last month. Zero weight gain, because I'd also exercise daily I suppose. Today though, I didn't exercise much except for walking outside, and doing 1 rep of every normal exercise I'd do, just to activate the muscles. I think it's good to activate the muscles daily so that I don't lose strength while fasting, that's the theory anyway.

Fasting is probably one of the only few ways I can feel any accomplishment right now, other than working. I don't know why I'm procrastinating on some tasks, but I procrastinated today on a lot of business and personal tasks. I did do a lot of work for clients, and I had a meeting today as well, but for my own personal and business tasks I procrastinated. I really need to get back on track and get my shit together. There's a lot I need to get done and don't have any excuses for what I need to do. Fasting is a shortcut to getting quick results, where I basically do nothing for a few days and have a lot to show for it, it's only tough mentally.

For the meeting today, for some reason I had a problem vocalizing my thoughts. I've never experienced this before, but my mind would go blank at times when trying to explain something. There was even a moment when I was talking about how cookies were saved in the browser and how this was related to the problem we were discussing, and someone interrupted to mention some other similar topic, and then I lost my train of thought entirely and then I was silent for a moment, forgetting what I was talking about, then I said I don't even remember what I was going on about, and laughed about it, but it was embarrassing. It took a moment to remember it again.

I also stuttered some words and sentences. This is a first in my entire life. I've never had this issue before. I was like, mentally as it was happening, what is going on? It's probably due to a combination of things. For one thing, I barely talk to anyone or use my voice for anything. I rarely talk in general. Since I do my work remotely, and mostly communicate through emails, texting, commenting, and chats, I can go an entire week or two without saying a single word vocally. So maybe I lack practice speaking? Something like that? Plus the fasting. It affects me physically, so I'm sure it affects me mentally too in some way.

Hopefully tomorrow is better for productivity, business, fitness, and fasting. I restarted my fast again at around 9 PM, but didn't start the timer until almost 2 AM of the next day (so ~5 hours difference). I'm aiming for 120 hours again, or 115 hours for the timer. Anyway, that was my day today.