I think that once you hit a certain point in life, you subconsciously give up on the idea of having dreams. Your life has settled into whatever rut it is going to follow for the rest of your days, and there is little you can do about it in most cases.
I almost want to say you get too old for them, but I don't know if that is the right way to express it. Having just turned 37, I feel both old and incredulous at the idea of being old. I haven't accomplished anything in my life and don't expect to at this point, I can't even think up ideas without just feeling like its impossible that all the opportunities of life have passed me by and that I will keep marking time in the same dead end way until I give in and kill myself.
This isn't a cry for help, this is staring into the void and seeing the nothingness for what it is. I tried an exercise last night to list things you are grateful for that bring you joy, and I couldn't come up with anything that my brain couldn't turn negative. If you have seen the Inside Out movies, the phrase 'Sadness has control of the console' would be appropriate all the time. The only other emotions I seem to feel with any regularity are anger and bitterness.
I am never going to own a house. I come from poor white trash and will never dig my way out of that background.
I will never have a family, now that is mostly my own choice, but it's still one of those 'milestones' we are all supposed to be striving for that I will never reach.
I will never be loved. That is, I think the hardest one because you will find people who will say that they do, but in this actions speak louder than words, it's easy to say those 4 words, but if the things you don't back it up, it's not real it's just a platitude said with no real feeling to manipulate someone.
I do as much as I possibly can for everyone who even crosses into my circle, and no one returns the favor or even shows any appreciation for what I do, just that there is something else that I didn't do for them, some way I am letting them down.
Focus on doing things for yourself instead of other people. It takes a while to build up progress and get any of those things you listed. To get a house, it takes ~20ish years of education to become competent enough to get a profession that earns a decent income. Then after getting that income, it takes 30ish years to pay off even a cheap home, I know because I am going through this.
To get a family, it again takes probably 25ish years to gain maturity, personality, wisdom, income enough to start a family if that is what you want. Then several years to find a partner, who has also spent 25ish years gaining maturity, wisdom, and so on.
To become loved, I have my own opinions on what's required here, but I feel like it's much harder to attain than the previous two items. Most people will never have this.
Stop doing things for other people. Unless they love you, they won't do anything in return. I feel the same way. That I do a lot for others but I get nothing back essentially. I don't really ask for anything though, I don't ask for favors or anything, I do everything myself, which is probably why I don't get much in return, while my friends would constantly ask me for things like favors.
@JustMegawatt Just to clarify, I'm 37 years old. I've been working towards these things for two decades.
@Aerbacher Yeah I am 32, so not much difference. We all struggle with the same things. I am struggling with the same things. I do have a home though, and I have had previous relationships, but I am looking for love and a relationship again, and I have done very poorly financially this year and last year. My appearance also took a hit this year. So I understand this struggle.
There is a time limit for everything. For the best chances of success, you had to go through schooling and have done well, if you wanted a good life age 20 and beyond. But at 37, you can still go back to school and study, and advance your career, you are not too late here.
Not having a home at 37, is common. Most 37 year olds probably do not have a home, though I don't know the stats on this. Maybe 50/50 is what I would guess.
In your 20s, that was the best time to find a partner. That is when you were most attractive and in the prime of your youth. At 30+ it becomes harder, but you can still find someone. As long as you are decently looking, have a decent income, have a decent personality, you can attract a partner. I have this struggle too.
A few years ago you posted a journal entry. You were 34. What if during these past 3 years you worked on your goals and ambitions this whole time? Where would you be now at 37?
You have to be on the correct path too. You can think you are "working towards" certain things, but you could be going in the wrong direction or staying in place. I have made this mistake many times.
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