Fasting Day 3

5:08 AM (of Sunday, May 11th, 2025)

Today is Saturday, May 10th, 2025.

So after making it to around 48 hours of fasting last night, I ate again. Although not ideal, my mind, willpower, and motivation weren't all in the right place, so I gave up fasting temporarily. I wasn't taking this as seriously as I should have, but after that short feeding intermission, I resumed my fasting.

Why am I fasting? It's to lose body fat, and to hopefully heal from the damage that minoxidil has caused my face.

This morning I was agonizing comparing my past photos pre-minoxidil with recent photos. During my previous fasts, I would take daily selfies and body-composition photos. Comparing those photos to today, weighing the same, there is an obvious and clear difference in appearance, I look like 5 years younger in my pre-minoxidil photos which was just a couple of months ago. The damage from minoxidil is still there and I am in anguish over it.

One thing that helps me cope is my the body fat percent is different at the same weight. I was 14.6% body fat back in March, while this around time I am at 15.6% body fat, at the same weight of 158.6 pounds. I also shaved my beard entirely now, while a few months ago I would only trim and had a long stubble. My hair is also much longer now, and can look unkempt, whereas my hair back in March was shorter and looked pretty good no matter what. So these factors are my cope, that my face looking much older isn't primarily due to minoxidil, but these other factors instead. It's my only hope.

Maybe I'm just going insane as well and that I actually look basically identical from back then compared to today. But for me, I can open two selfies side by side, and one just looks so much younger than the other in an indescribable way. It's weird because zooming in and comparing all the wrinkles and everything, they look nearly identical, but the post-minoxidil ones just look a bit older and more weather. I hate it. I hate it. I hate this so much.

I don't remember much of what I did today. I didn't do any chores nor cleaned up nor did any work. I think most of my time was spent on social media, which right now I'm excusing as fine because I'm fasting and need some distractions.

I would also eat again later at night, but then I restarted my fast again after that.

I'm so tired. Another random thing, continuing the idea that youth is our prime years, is that in e-sports as well, the top gamers are usually the teens and early 20s people, in every game. There are people in their late 20s and early 30s who play games all the time, and are unable to compete with the youngsters, even if they were formerly pros themselves. We just pick things up and learn everything much more quickly and easily at those ages.

Sometimes we might make discoveries or innovations or do things easily that we're surprised other people aren't able to, and that we may feel like all the older people are so slow and behind the times, and that's just because we are at our primes. No one else can really compete except other people our age, the late teens and early 20s people. I was at my fastest in typing when I was 19 through 21. I was my fastest at using the computer during those ages as well, and was at my most innovative and most creative too. Things slow down after 30 I think, for most people.

Anyway, that was my day today.