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11:47 PM

Yesterday morning at around 6 AM, I went out with my dad to buy some Dandelion Root Tea. I didn't expect he would go along with it, being so early in the morning. I couldn't drive because my glasses fell out of my pocket and broke while on vacation in Canada last week, and it was so early in the morning. I thought my dad would get upset or something and say we could go later in the day, but he was fine with driving so early. After verifying that he didn't have work yesterday, we went to Wal-Mart right shortly after it opened.

All I wanted was to buy some tea, that's what I told him, and it's true that's all I wanted. It was a very silly reason to go out to Wal-Mart so early, I really didn't expect my dad to approve. I still actually spend many hours a day researching and buying products to improve my facial appearance. In that previous before / after photo in my previous entry, the after photo shows me in basically a perfect state, but I only look that way in that particular lighting. When the lighting is terrible, then I also look terrible, and most lighting that I'm in I probably look terrible.

When taking selfies using my iPhone 13 Pro Max, I used to look pretty decent. Ever since taking minoxidil, I've looked very off and ugly to me. People from a distance can't really tell, and neither can any photos from a distance. But from a selfie and looking at myself up close in the mirror, I know there is a massive difference, I see myself all the time.

One possibility that I thought about after reading hundreds of posts related to minoxidil, its side effects, and personal anecdotes and accounts, is that my face was possibly still bloated. My face is much rounder than it was at this same weight two months ago. Even when I fasted and was my leanest and lightest at 150 pounds, my face didn't really resemble what I looked like even at 155 pounds, my face was still rounder and puffier. I asked ChatGPT about it, and it said that this might be due to facial water retention which is a common side effect of minoxidil. I asked it for possible solutions, and it recommended taking a diuretic.

A diuretic is something that makes you pee more, complimentary to a laxative which makes you poo more. Laxatives are just fiber actually, I'm surprised people have to take them, my regular diet gets 30g+ of fiber per day, so I don't need any laxatives ever. There was one time a few years ago, when someone who had a crush on me visited, we bought a laxative from Wal-Mart for some reason, her suggestion, and I gave it a try. It didn't make me go any more than usual. Then I looked at the ingredients, and it was basically just plant food fibers, which I get plenty of without even trying.

So I did order a laxative from Amazon right away, after the suggestion was given to take one to fix facial bloating. The problem was that it would take around 48 hours to arrive, it was like 3 AM of yesterday when I ordered. I didn't have the patience to wait nearly 48 hours since I wanted to fix my face asap, so I searched up any alternatives I could find at Wal-Mart. They didn't have any diuretic supplements, but dandelion root is the most diuretic plant, and they did sell dandelion root and tea, so at around 5:30 AM I prepared to go to Wal-Mart since it opened at 6. As I was getting ready, I remembered that I couldn't drive without my glasses, so I almost gave up. Then my dad also woke up, and I skittishly asked him if he could drive me so early in the morning, and he was like yeah let's go.

So we go to Wal-Mart and I'm taking a bunch of selfies everywhere. I look very ugly everywhere, it's so sad, but, hopefully the diuretic could fix it, I thought. I'm not sure if the tea was strong enough. We bought a Dandelion Leaf and Root Tea, which is not the same as just Dandelion Root Tea, but it should still be as good. I prepared a bunch of teas and took it in the morning and afternoon, drinking about 7 tea bags worth. I peed a bunch throughout the day, and by night time I think my appearance did improve significantly. By the time I woke up in the morning today though, it was back to looking terrible again.

I uploaded a photo from March 24th and a photo taken a few minutes ago. It was probably taken on June 8th, a bit past midnight, but I subtitled it June 7th since that's when this entry is for. Anyway, yeah, I think my face looks so odd to me. It's wide, my eyes look "derpy", my skin and texture look so aged and terrible. It's so terrible. I hate this appearance change, I really do not recognize myself when I look at myself in the mirror. I am lighter now too than on March 24th. I was like 160 pounds on March 24th, but I'm 157 pounds now, so I'm even 3 pounds lighter.

This is after all my effort at improving my appearance too. I look way worse on April 18th. I look way worse on May 18th. So, on June 7th, I look like this, this derpy looking appearance, bigger jaw for some reason, wider eyes, it doesn't make any sense. I don't know why I continued to use Minoxidil when I could see this change happening basically every day. It wasn't until my parents made a comment on my appearance changing, saying I looked so much older, that I stopped. If I was doing minoxidil alone in my own home without anyone to see me to comment on my appearance changing, how long would I have kept on going for?

It does seem like my face is bloated, but maybe the tea isn't strong enough to affect it? Reading some forum posts, some say it really showed the difference over a week. If this isn't enough, I might have to order a diuretic pill, a dandelion root pill. I'm not going for any pharmaceutical diuretic, reading the reviews, it seems like the dandelion root pill is just as good. But yeah, I think my face is still bloated, even now. It could be that my face is bloated, or I just gained so much more fat without my weight changing. I don't get it.

But yeah, this is actually still an on-going battle. Improvement is possible and it has happened, that previous before / after photo shows it. But I still look so odd. I still look so weird, compared to how I used to look. There's still so much wrong with my appearance and I'm pretty frustrated by it. I hope it isn't permanent.

Today, I did brain training and some exercising again. I just eased into the exercising. I don't think I can do over 40 push ups in a row anymore, as I struggled to do over 20 push ups in a row today. Last week I was able to do like 10 or 12 pull-ups and chin-ups in a row after not having done them in a long time. I think I still can today, but who knows.

I'm not sure what else I did today. The day went by so fast. I drank some more dandelion leaf and root tea today, but not as much as yesterday. I also ordered dandelion root tea online, and a few other teas. It is kind of interesting reading the reviews on different teas and herbs, because they can have a different effect on us. Dandelion root is a diuretic, it really makes you use the bathroom a lot more, it's also supposed to suck out any extra fluid and clear out edema and water retention, according to the minoxidil forums and even the Amazon reviews on the dandelion teas, but so far it hasn't happened to me.

Is my face even bloated still? It's something I'm not even sure about, which is why I didn't order a diuretic until now. I know my face should be a lot leaner, but I also got used to my current face's width, so it escaped me thinking about it. But it is true that even when I fasted, and was at my lightest weight ever, my face was still round. It's odd that fasting didn't get rid of water retention, I thought it would have.

Anyway, that was my day today, I'm still trying to figure things out, but I'm slowly starting to get back into my previous habits.