July 18, 2020

Reflective walk while waiting for oil change

9:22 AM

Morning

Last night I went to sleep at around 11 PM and I woke up this morning at around 6 AM, so I got 7 hours of sleep, which is nice.

So far this morning I worked on my trifecta, and then I messed up, and then I solved one problem. Yeah I messed up unintentionally again this morning. First time I messed up after a long streak was two days ago, in which I messed up that night. And then I messed up 4-5 times yesterday, and then I messed up once today. I need to take it as a lesson that once I get a good streak of not messing up, in this case it was 3 days which is 1 day less than my record of 4 days, that if I do mess up again, I will mess up multiple times. Yeah my longest streak of not messing up is 4 days so far this entire year. I heard magic starts to happen when someone doesn't mess up for 90 days, but to me that sounds like total insanity to get to. Is such a feat possible for me?

2:09 PM

Car Appointment

I'm back from the car appointment. The car appointment was scheduled at 11:00 AM and I left here at around 10:30 and got there by around 11:00 AM. Yeah it took over 2 hours to complete and I'm back home just now almost 4 hours later (I left at 10:30). Anyway they changed the oil in the car, did the state inspection, and gave it a car wash too. I got it all for free. I still don't like cars in general because they take maintenance. I'm a very minimal maintenance kind of person, the less I have to worry or deal with, the more comfortable I am.

7:00 AM (of Sunday, July 19th 2020)

Okay so today is still Saturday, July 18th 2020 and overall it was a very eventful day, let me get to that. I thought that they did state inspections today, but it turns out they didn't. I wouldn't find out until the evening, and so I have to schedule and go back there again next Saturday.

Walking Outside

What I didn't write about is that I was outside the entire time instead of sitting at a waiting room today. So when people drop their car off for maintenance or repairs, they usually sit in a waiting room afterwards, not me. I went out and started walking. This was at 11:00 AM and I was outside until about 1:30 PM, so I was out for over two hours in the blazing hot sun. I didn't listen to any music or audio, and sort of did some self reflecting because there were some events and decisions that I contemplated on this street five years ago and it went exactly like how I predicted. I ended up not "capitalizing" on the opportunity and I ended up missing out big.

Walking Reflections

I kind of thought about how different my life would have been today had I acted back then. I took some weird little signs like encountering a fork in the road as symbolism for how my life could have gone off in either direction based on the decisions I made. There was one very fortuitous event that made me reflect that I didn't make the wrong decision, because I'm not at the end of my life yet, and there will be plenty of other opportunities. That event was that while I was walking on the sidewalk, a plane passed by on top of me, so directly on top of me actually that I was under its shadow. It wasn't a large shadow because it was so high above, and it passed by in less than a second because it was moving quickly, but for less than a second I became engulfed in a shadow and the well lit floor around me turned dark.

I forgot to mention it was exceptionally hot out today. especially since I walked during the sun's peak times times. I walked outside at times without a shirt on, and was still sweating profusely the entire time. The last I drank water was at 10:10 AM maybe, and I was so thirsty the entire time. When I got home I probably drank through several glasses of water and I still kept on drinking. It made me wonder where all that water went, because I only used the bathroom to pee I think once or twice the rest rest of the night, and yet I probably drank through more than 10 glasses of water. I seriously drank a glass, refilled it, drank another glass, several times and I even had to refill the pitcher twice. I didn't pee that much afterwards either.

Shadow Cast

Anyway that shadow casting above me just gave me some personal reminders and personal meaning. I mean I looked all around me, and there was basically an inifinite amount of area that the shadow could have been cast. Yet that shadow was cast right exactly where I was walking, right exactly as I was having regretful thoughts with not taking action back then. I think it would be hard to come in path of a plane's shadow even if someone planned it (unless the airport was right nearby). But yeah I didn't plan this, and it all happened serendipitously. It gave me some meaning that even though it doesn't seem like I made the right choice by missing out on some big opportunities, I made the right choice in the long run as things will somehow work out for the better. I can't imagine how, but that's the take-home message I got from my walk.

Sweating

When I got the call that my car was ready, I was about a mile away from the car place, and I ended up jogging most of the way back. Even though I am overweight I just have supreme stamina or something where I can jog for hours at any time anywhere. After messing up in the morning and spending hours outside baking in the sun while walking at the same time, I think a lot of people would be down for the count. I'm a different beast I guess, I jogged back most of the way and only walked near the end when I realized I'd be extremely sweaty when I walked back in to the building. Yeah I was very sweaty, they made me sign some forms, and my shirt was soaked with sweat, my arms were wet with sweat dripping down to my hands. I was the only sweaty person there since everyone else stayed indoors in the air conditioning while I was out for two hours in the sun.

Anyway I just drove back home as soon as I got the car back, and then I drank a bunch of water when I got back home. I was so thirsty driving back that water was the only thing I could think of. It was so freaking hot outdoors and even at home that I still kept on sweating and contemplated taking a cold shower to cool off. I got another tan again and my skin was glowing brown from the sweat and the tan when I checked myself out in the mirror.

Messing Up a Bunch

Throughout the rest of the day I would end up messing up 4-5 more times. So in total today I messed up about 5-6 times. I wasn't keeping count though, except that it was a lot. So if I recall properly I messed up 5-6 times today, 4-5 times yesterday, 1 time the day before that, 0 times for 3 days, then like 12 times total in 6 days or something. Basically yeah, I messed up more than most people are able to. There's not really any proof except my own writing. I think it's stupid for that reason too, because even though I did mess up 5-6 times today for real, there's not any proof. I wasted a bunch of energy and mental capacity and whatever else by messing up for real, when I could have just said I did and not done it. Anyway it's stupid to think think I'm some sort of "badass" by having this ability to mess up a bunch of times, definitely more than a lot of other people can. But it actually takes more endurance and more effort not to mess up, than to mess up. So, I'll be even more "badass" if I had a long streak of not messing up.

Rest of the Day

I also worked on some problems here and there, I ended up solving maybe 5 problems total and I had an easy time solving them. I also showed my dad a bunch of things. Overall it was such an eventful day that time went by a lot more slowly than usual. I had so much time and so much energy to do whatever I wanted to. Instead I messed up a bunch of times, and I wasted a bunch of time too.

Written by JustMegawatt

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