Making the Most of Every Day

1:43 AM

The past few days have been quite good. My productivity has soared and I'm feeling great about getting things done now. I've started sweeping daily, started cleaning my yard daily, taking out the trash when it's full, cleaning up the kitchen, washing the dishes daily, and no longer feel bad about doing these tasks. Right now there are no unwashed dishes in the sink, usually I'd leave my dishes in there until they start piling up before cleaning them, but now I just clean them whenever and it's so effective.

I've also completed a lot of random chores that I've been putting off for no reason. It's so stupid. Why am I so irrational that I will put off doing some tasks that I need to do? It doesn't make any sense, and it doesn't get better the longer I delay. My tasks don't magically become easier the longer I put them off, in fact they become harder. So it really doesn't make any sense that I procrastinate at all.

There are many tasks that I am still putting off that I need to do, more urgent and important tasks than my chores, but I'm still putting them off due to their difficulty. At least I've tackled my chores a bit, even though they are extremely easy in comparison to my harder tasks, at least I'm getting slightly more things done than usual.

I've been exercising daily too, just not the kettlebell exercises. Doing it for an hour the other day left me sore for a few days. I think it gave my body a shock when I exercised that much in a single session out of nowhere, especially doing a weight like 18 pounds. 18 pounds doesn't seem like much, but swinging it for an hour can really tire out a beginner, and even leave them sore. My back and legs were sore for a few days after doing the 1 hour kettlebell session, so I was uncomfortable doing any exercises until I could recover fully, which took like 2-3 days.

It's interesting how long 2-3 days is, when the 2-3 days hasn't arrived yet, when it's off in the future. When you look at 2-3 days in the past though, like 2-3 days from a week ago, those 2-3 days seemed so short in hindsight, like they went by in an instant. When looking at it as something yet to come, 2-3 days seems like plenty of time when you can get everything done. Ah, the days are short. They always are. The years too, they go by instantly, even the decades go by in a flash, a century isn't long at all.

It's also surprising how much can happen in 2-3 days. An important school test, a date, traveling to a different country, making a viral post, writing a song, publishing a song, creating an app or website, getting hired, getting fired, hiking up a mountain, moving to a new place, and so on, all of these things can happen in 2-3 days, probably everything listed here could be fit into 2-3 days, so it's important to live every day with intention.

Lia called me up last night, she said she needed help with something. We facetimed, without me showing my face, and I helped her out with her software issue. She gave me a tour of her new place too, that she's renting in a different country. Pretty cool place to live. It was her birthday recently and she threw her own birthday party. She is awesome and kind to me, says she loves me and that I am enough (in regards to me complaining about my weight, appearance, etc over the years).

It's seriously been several years and I am still unhappy about my appearance. First it was about losing weight, then it was about getting six pack abs, then it was about fixing my face, and now it's back to getting six pack abs again. Even though it is arguably simple, it is incredibly difficult to lose weight, hence why so few people are able to do it. I have lost over 90 pounds though, and even then, I struggle to lose weight at times, like right now. It's so easy to lose weight too, we all know how to, I know very easy methods to lose weight, yet they are still hard to follow without making mistakes.

In terms of my face, I genuinely believe that I look better now than ever. Due to all the skincare and facial knowledge I've acquired in damaging my face and healing it, I've been able to improve my face to better than it was before. My face right now, I think rivals my early 20s. Even though in my early 20s I looked good without any effort, without any skincare, without any sunscreen, doing all the wrong things, I think now I've been able to surpass that former self. I'm not sure I can pass for early 20s though, whereas a few months ago, I could have.

There was this one selfie I took prior to receiving minoxidil damage taken a few months ago. I posted it and someone rated me as being age 24, whereas I'm actually 31. I told them my age, and they commented that I look younger than everyone they were with, and they were with a bunch of other college students. Yeah, so I don't think I can pass for that anymore, or maybe I can, if I shave my beard fully, though I'm not sure. I'm not going to risk it, I think I look great with my current beard.

I just don't have a fit body yet though. I don't have six pack abs. I can still fit into a size XS shirt, and I am actually wearing a size XS shirt right now, but I don't have abs. Also, it seems like my stomach has gotten larger, but it's weird that I can still fit into an XS shirt. Other than my stomach in fact, I think my body looks perfect basically, I am happy with my overall appearance, face, arms, everything, just my stomach needs to be turned into abs.

I told Emma about the minoxidil face damage thing a few days ago, and she was able to empathize and relate fully, unlike anyone else. She had by far the best responses. Today I showed her examples of other people getting facial damage from minoxidil, and she was able to see the obvious and apparent facial damage in those examples, that seemingly everyone else online seemed to miss.

For anyone suffering with minoxidil facial damage, or any sort of facial issue such as any wrinkles, scars, acne, or anything, I will conclude that recovery is fully possible, 100%. It might seem completely hopeless, but there are ways to recover, definitely. Some ways are worse than others though, and it is possible to do the right thing incorrectly too, leading to worsening results instead of improvement. It takes experience and lots and lots of reading to learn, after all the trials and tribulations, I've cemented my facial routine that I think I'm just going to stick to for life, because I don't see any other improvements even possible.

I'm grateful and happy for the people who still talks to me, and there are a few, I love you guys, even though I will probably never message this to them, I do feel that way about them, but just as friends mainly. It's mainly for Wahl that I feel romantic love for, and for some reason I just don't really feel that way about anyone else. I think we will see each other again in the future, but I want to have six pack abs before that happens.

Anyway, I really need to do more with my life still. Why couldn't I have been as productive as I am now, several months ago? I will probably be more productive yet in the future too.