Sunday School Nostalgia

Anyone who grew up going to Sunday school knows what I am talking about, These goldfish are the most nostalgic snack for me. I really looked forward to them and I remember me and the other kids trying to get as many as we could (because let's be honest, the majority of kids in Sunday school don't care about whatever Bible story, we were just there for the snacks LOL).

I have not been a Christian for over half a year now since I left the church and Christianity behind, but I still appreciate the nostalgic feeling of goldfish crackers and animal crackers. I would always try to guess which animals I got and sometimes I would try and trade my animals with someone else if they had a cooler animal.

So when I went grocery shopping this week, I saw these goldfish and I bought them for memory's sake.

And I painted a ying yang symbol on my arm today, it is my favorite symbol. A symbol of balance, to me it represents the balance of pain/suffering and joy/happiness. The whole idea of how suffering digs the trough that will be filled by the rain water of joy, so the deeper your trough is the more joy you can hold.

I really like Taoism and stuff I have read in Eastern philosophy about the great Tao. I like the idea of a higher power that creates all things but does not claim to own them. Much different from the god I was taught, being raised christian. The god of the Bible who creates us and then sends us to suffer in hell forever if we don't worship or follow him or whatever.

Taoism is the only thing that has really made sense so far. I have a very deep thinking and inquisitive mind, and the whole evolution idea just doesn't sit right with me. It doesn't seem possible. But the Christians version doesn't seem right either. I feel like most people are unaware that those aren't the only two options.

I like learning about quantum physics and the theoretical things they are exploring. It is all very fascinating. But I was never allowed to question or wonder or dig into any of this as a Christian, and even if I was allowed to the other Christians would not contribute anything to the discussion. They fall back on the same circular logic or resort to "God knows better" "His ways are higher" or some quote from the Bible.

I am still exploring, figuring out what I believe. I like being able to do that. I feel like we should respect all beliefs and lifestyles. The way I see it as long as you aren't hurting yourself or anyone, you can believe whatever you want. This is very different from how I was raised as a Christian. Most of Christianity has this idea that they are the ONLY right way and everyone else needs to follow their (Jesus') way. But I never understood that because why can't we just have respect for our fellow humans.

Obviously Christianity are not the only ones guilty of this. I have found you can never say one thing about a group of people, because good and bad people come from everywhere. Generalization is never helpful and I have yet to see a case where it is accurate.