Currently listening to: Sacrifice by London After Midnight
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I am back, everyone! Hello!
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My period pain is killing me. Well, not literally, but it makes my depression worse than before. I feel worse about myself, and I feel bad about the fact that I am unable to do many things. I need to visit the doctor and discuss the issues. I was thinking about taking birth control, even though I refused to do so. I guess having pain changes how you view certain topics.
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Mental health:
After discussing my physical health, I am now talking about my mental health. Spoiler: it's not better than my physical health. The last few days, I struggled with both my period pain and my depression. I found out I am suffering from internalised ableism. Now I need to find a way to fight these thoughts. I have been treated for depression for quite a long time. Unfortunately, I was not treated for the main cause, adhd and (probably) autism. My main goal rn is to ask my doctor for antidepressants and to tell him everything I know so far about my depression. This is one step to prepare for one thing I want to apply for.
As I mentioned before, I struggle a lot with internalised ableism. Yesterday I found a book in my favourite bookshop about that kind of topic, written by a queer person. I have only read the introduction so far, and I relate so much to the author's experience. I am looking forward to continuing to read the book.
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Special interest:
New category for my daily entries!
I am currently having an emotional state where I am experiencing so much joy (Kinda ironic because I am having a depressive episode). I am currently reading queer manga. Last night I started reading a book about quantum computing. It's so interesting so far, and it's easy to understand. I love books about such topics, which are easy to read, because I struggle a lot with reading.
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A few things I enjoyed:
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Conclusion:
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That's it for today.
See you soon!
Hello!
I am sorry you are going through so much pain, period pain is awful. I feel like a lot of women grew up being told or treated like or seeing people act like period pain is not that bad and we are being dramatic (And it is usually men saying this who have never experienced period pain) and for me at least this because internalized.
I relate to the struggle with internalized ableism, for me this came from years of medical gaslighting.
Sending hugs your way! Glad you are back!
@rachelrae2003 typo! and for me at least this *became* internalized
@rachelrae2003
Medical gaslighting is the worst. I once had a bad doctor. I am glad, I don't need to visit him anymore.
I totally agree with the period pain topic. I am currently documenting my symptoms, so I can talk about it with my gynaecologist. I have a good feeling about her.
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