July 20, 2020

futbol furor

newbie is worried about meeting dps requirements for E6-8. He was considering switching to black mage. I'm of two minds about it. On the one hand, black mage was my first class. I dropped it because I didn't enjoy the playstyle (I got annoyed every single time I had to move), but I still have a soft spot for the job and would be happy to see someone else take up the mantle. On the other hand, if newbie becomes a black mage, all the random tasks that we say "make the bard do it" become "make the machinist do it" and basically rip my dps forever.

Anyway, HGR and numbers talked him out of it. numbers looked up dps requirements, and apparently our Ramuh dps is enough for Ifrit/Garuda, and nearly enough for Idol of Darkness, and we're sure to have better gear by then. Shiva will be challenging, but we always knew that. At least the music is great.

Today, we were hyped to start Ifrit/Garuda, but when we tried to queue, we discovered we didn't meet the duty requirements. Turns out there's a dumb thing where you have to beat E5 every week in order to play E6 that week, and so on for E7 and E8. It's fine for hardcore dudes who want to farm their weekly loot, but it's terrible for a once-a-week static like us. Thankfully they're removing that requirement once 5.3 hits on August 11.

Anyway, back to Ramuh. After several tries, we got the clear, and I got a hot 11% parse (13.9k rdps). Double digits!! also I had higher rdps than newbie I am the SUPERIOR ranged dps

Then we moved on to Ifrit/Garuda for real.

  • (3:22:43 PM) Dante: i actually like this fight way more than ramuh
  • (3:56:55 PM) Dante: for the record
  • (3:57:00 PM) Dante: i also have no idea what im supposed to be doing
  • (3:57:02 PM) Dante: but i think i can wing it
  • (4:43:10 PM) meisnewbie: yes
  • (4:43:13 PM) meisnewbie: I agreeeeeeee

We made surprisingly good progress. (I say this with every Eden fight, and it always takes a session longer than I expect. But still! Good prog!) We're semi-consistently getting to phase 4/Raktapaksa, though there's usually only 2-3 people left and we jump it.

Just as importantly, numbers recently got ADMIN STATUS in the Discord channel and is abusing it with glee. "Hey, newbie," he said between pulls. "Sing a song. Just anything, start singing."

Bemused, newbie started singing the happy birthday song. Then numbers muted him. After a while, numbers un-muted him, but deafened him and invited everyone to talk smack about him while he couldn't hear (with newbie in the background going "Hello? Can you guys hear me? Hello?"). Admin powers too strong.

Also man, machinist is competitive for this fight. To get a 25% parse, I would need 14.5k dps. It's just a very compact class; it's got the second highest 25th percentile, but the second lowest 95th/100th percentile. But the tail is what matters for me, so yeah. Gotta get serious about heat usage next session.

Meanwhile, some advice from Dante if I ever decide to pick up monk:

  • (9:29:00 PM) Dante: im here to tell you a secret to monk: it doesn't actually matter what abilities you use
  • (9:29:10 PM) Dante: so long as you're in earths reply, just slam buttons
  • (9:30:40 PM) numbers: what about the other half of the time can i just not press any buttons
  • (9:50:18 PM) Dante: you can either true north and just accept the loss, with the huge boons from the other half its ok

Written by Achaius

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