Hung out with some friends, flew back to PR, turning 32 in days

7:56 PM

The past few days were pretty eventful. I hung out with Eric and Gus again two nights ago, we just worked out at their apartment's gym and then hung out in their place for a bit. They work out all the time, it is no wonder they are fit, they are just constantly working out all the time, spending hours in the gym basically every day. It's similar to Wahl, it's no wonder she is extremely fit too, being at the gym for 4 hours at a time. I'm not spending nearly enough time at the gym, at my own home gym, and I'm not doing difficult enough exercises, while they are.

I'm kind of frustrated that I'm almost 32 and haven't accomplished my dream of being fit and having six pack abs. It's so frustrating.

Also I flew back home to my parent's place and I'm here now. I took some selfies at the airport and think I look young again. Do I look young or am I delusional? Can I pass as a young 20s person or even a teenager? Or am I delusional and I look my age? I am older than Charlie Kirk by the way, he was younger than me by a month. If this was a few months ago, when my face was damaged and destroyed, I would have looked much older than Charlie Kirk by like 20 years. Now I think I look younger.

I actually miss Mary, my ex-gf. It was super cool and fun talking to her, and having her as my girlfriend. She shared everything with me, ideas, stories, a bit of our expenses. She was so cool and loving, and flirty, and horny. She loved taking pictures with me, loved holding hands, cuddling, talking about and sharing everything. Definitely the best example of what a girlfriend should be. So reasonable and so rational too. We still keep in touch and talk to each other every now and then.

Next girlfriend I get I will be so loving. It could be one of a few people, or none of them, it could be someone entirely new that I've never met before. Who knows?

It would have been awesome if it were Wahl. I would have loved to take care of her and dedicate my life to her, and I would have been so happy being with her. It could happen, but probably not.

Anyway, my life overall is pretty good. I just need to work out more, for hours every single day, and then be in a caloric deficit, then I can build an attractive body. Then maybe Wahl can reconsider me, or I can be attractive to someone else. I actually regained a lot of the weight I lost when I fasted, nearly all of the weight. I fasted earlier this year a few times, and got my weight down to 155 pounds from 174 pounds. Several months later, it was 169.6 pounds or something last time I weighed myself a few days ago, so I regained basically all of the weight back. I'm too scared to get on the weight again.

But yeah, I enjoy being in love and infatuated. It's such an awesome feeling and one I want to experience again. I hate getting older though.