Currently listening to: You and You Alone by Funhouse
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I hate being the ugly friend. Because of my ED, I gained some weight (I am currently on a diet to fix this). Therefore, I have more body fat than my friends. I noticed a pattern:The skinny friends always get compliments from other friends. And I get nothing.
Is it me who is ugly? Am I too fat? I guess I am ugly, and I hate it.
Some would say, that there are other qualities than beauty. Shut up.
I hate that I have none. I am not smart, and I am not really good at anything. In addition to that, I am not pretty either. I am ugly, dumb and useless.
I hate this soo much.
I wish I could be prettier. It makes me sad any time I look at myself in the mirror. I don't want to confirm the beauty standard because I love to wear fancy eyeliner and gothic clothes. I guess I try to appeal to the main beauty. Otherwise, I am considered ugly. I hate this so much.
An angel has lost his wings.
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Aside from that, I did some volunteer work. And I studied some mechanics.
I guess that's it. I don't have any energy left to continue writing entry number 40.
Good night.
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I feel you on this, I used to feel the same way about myself and it would make me so freaking angry when pretty people would tell me not to be upset about it because "There are other good qualities besides beauty". That doesn't make it any less frustrating and it didn't make me feel any better about myself. I struggled with an ED for quite a few years, so I understand how awful it can be. *hugs*
@rachelrae2003 yeah it's pretty annoying.
All I am currently doing is doing some fancy make-up. A person complimented my make-up. By doing good make-up, you can also get some compliments lol
@Mysticochan make up takes more skill than people realize! I admire people who can do it because it's such a wonderful form of self expression and it is really cool to see how different people have their different and unique ways of doing it.
@rachelrae2003 I realised that. So many people are impressed by my eyeliner. I love to wear makeup.
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