Did All My Workouts, Shape of Happiness, Feeling Ugly

11:59 PM

Nothing feels better than getting all your workouts done for the day. It's been like 2 weeks since I last did them all, and I can't believe how quickly those two weeks went by. I actually did notice body change results after a week of not doing them. So I did the workouts for around a week, and then around 7 days since I stopped, that's when I noticed the changes. So the changes do appear, but they can take longer than expected.

Since restarting the workouts today, I don't feel like I've lost any strength. It was difficult starting to do the pull-ups and chin-ups again after not doing them for so long, but I quickly got the hang of it, and did 20 of both in the morning. The workouts are really not that difficult, and there's really not that many reps either, it just feels that way initially. Once I get to around 50% of all my workouts done, such as 15 pull-ups and 15 chin-ups for example, which is half of the 30 that I set for the day, that's when everything starts to feel so much easier. Getting to that hump is the hard part.

Today I encountered this chart called "The Shape of Happiness", and it basically shows that people are happiest in their teens, and then become very unhappy from their 30s to their 60s, and then become very happy after that. The reason for being happy in their 60s and later, is due to acceptance. A good analogy I heard for this was taking a test. We're happiest months away from taking the test which is our youth, start to build up tension and unhappiness close to the test which is our early 20s, are feeling the least happy while taking the test which is our 30s to 60s, and then after the test we are happiest again which is 60 and beyond.

This is all due to control and acceptance. In our middle years, we kind of feel like we can still do anything, and so we can have regrets in our actions if something doesn't go our way. In our 60s and beyond, we know we cannot do anything about anything anymore, so we come to accept the way things are, and are therefore at our happiest. This is just the explanation theory that I've heard for this.

I think we become unhappy in our middle years due to all the life changes and experiencing decline. Everything is kind of easy in our teens and early 20s, and we are at our most beautiful. We are generally in better health and have a better immune system and everything too in our teens and 20s.

In our 30s, people start to experience facial changes, health changes, and decline. People develop wrinkles, people lose hair, people get graying hair, and so on. People have a harder time becoming fit and building muscle, people have a harder time losing weight, people have less energy, people have less mental ability, and so on, compared to their younger years.

I'm feeling extremely ugly by the way and have uploaded selfies of myself at 32. I had to upload the Chart of Happiness first, because I feel like my face is a jump scare right now. I just have these blemishes and pimples which are really annoying. Then I have these subtle nasolabial folds. I don't have any wrinkles, but my skin is still a mess. So many scars, blotches, random marks, and a somewhat fat, unfit looking face. I look pretty ugly.

What I do like though, is my hair. It's black, beautiful, and I have a full head of it. I've never experienced any hair problems in my life. I have full hair throughout my head at 32. No hair loss problems, no signs of hair loss.

My face also looks somewhat youthful. If I didn't have these pimples and blemishes, I think I would look very young.

I think I should stop my skincare routine again and just cleanse, no skincare at all, until my skin is clear. I didn't have any pimples for years until this year, and now I break out pretty frequently. I need to stop everything I'm doing and just get this pimple situation under control before focusing on anything else. After my pimples, then I can focus on my skin discoloration, and then my nasolabial folds.

I also need to work on my fitness. My body is not attractive at all. It's very fat. Although, losing weight rapidly isn't the answer, because I did that before, and my face sagged. I need to lose weight in a controlled manner, just 1-2 pounds per week. In a month, I will lose 4-8 pounds, which is a significant amount, and my face will hopefully become more toned and healthy looking as well.

Anyway, I feel good again, because this stuff is under my control. I'll continue to update this every day.