I'm Back!
A lot has been happening since I have last been on here. I start physical therapy in November, once a week for 8 weeks. I am very grateful and lucky that my insurance was willing to pay for 8 weeks. I am going to be taking some free classes Millersville University is offering at the public library! My health has been horrific as usual, but I am overall happy with my life. I got to see my little brother the other day. My parents were driving through town and called me which was such a pleasant surprise because they stopped by and me and them went out to lunch and my little brother was there. That was the best day ever.
Plus the Winter Solstice is coming up so I am thinking what I am going to do to celebrate. Probably will take a week off for reflecting on the past year and preparing goals and dreaming of the year ahead. Hard to believe the year is almost over....where did this time go.
So I am going to be writing entries on here more often (hopefully LOL that's the plan, but ADHD often doesn't care about the plan XD)
Another thing that has been going on is that I have been in a fight with some doctor from years ago who is insisting on not amending my records. So basically what's going on with that is:
I just heard back from my records amendment request the doctor is STILL insisting they were correct and it was not a misdiagnosis. So I replied back with the DSM-5 criteria for the diagnosis and explained why each one is either better explained by an autism ADHD or C-PTSD symptom OR that it can be explained by outside circumstances such as not being in a safe environment for 5 years.
It's so frustrating that the word of some doctor who saw me for 15 minutes once a week for 3 weeks over 3 years ago holds more weight than my updated diagnoses and my current psychiatrist.
Even with me FINALLY being properly diagnosed ADHD, C-PTSD and on the autism spectrum it's crazy that I should have to explain things these doctors should know. THEY WENT TO SCHOOL FOR THE DSM-5 But I'm over here explaining it to them like they are three years old 
.
They are insisting that the BPD diagnosis was correct but I am insisting it isn't because a personality disorder has to be present in a variety of circumstances and situations, not just when my nervous system feels not safe which is my C-PTSD.
How can they accurately diagnose BPD in an unsafe traumatic hospital setting? They can't.
Because now, months after being out of those 5 years of hospitals my nervous system and brain have finally been able to realize I am safe and I have no symptoms or traits that would quality me for a BPD diagnosis yet this doctor won't let go of their ego
Not to mention I had no BPD traits before or after those 5 years of hospitalization, that alone should raise suspicion. No traits or symptoms before, and no traits or symptoms after, gods it's such a headache 
But I am making progress! 
I just sent out an appeal/complaint letter to the State Department of Health AND I am making progress in trying to get tested for small fiber neuropathy, I need to get in with a neurologist.
And when I start my PT on November 3rd my Physical therapist is going to see if mobility aids would be helpful and she will help me get them so I don't have to pay hundreds of dollars! 
So lots of good stuff as well!
Thank you all for being such a wonderful and supportive community! 
I have been on here a lot less but it is always good to know I have this amazing community to return to when I do spend a bit of time on here. Thank you to all of you beautiful people!! And hugs to anyone who needs it today
My leg has been cursing my existence all day because I had the audacity to walk 10 minutes to the library. Luckily it was cool weather, not freezing. Extreme temperatures agitate my symptoms. I am trying to get in with a neurologist to test for small fiber neuropathy. I forget if I wrote that already gods curse this ADHD.
Written by rachelrae2003
JustMegawatt
Posted On Oct 30, 2025I'm so glad that you had an awesome time with your parents and brother recently! Are you close to your parents? Just wondering if you still have the option to live with them if you wanted to, and if that would make things easier.
Reflections on the year are great :) I wish I had done more of that when I was younger.
Yeah, I feel like medical professionals can be gaslighters. Yes they are professional, qualified, certified, took a decade in schooling, and all that, but they are still fallible. I feel like they wouldn't have been able to help me and others in the issue I ran into earlier this year, I posted photos of it in my latest entry, and examples from other people experiencing the same thing. It's not in any medical literature, so people who experienced it have to live with the issue themselves or figure things out on their own.
You get like 10-15 minutes with them at a time, and they'll just prescribe you with something if they find some issue. You need a prescription because they can have serious side effects. That's the only reason I can think of that they have to prescribe something. If it were safer, it would be over the counter medication, which themselves can have serious side effects.
Did they try to prescribe you something too? For BPD? And I'm siding with you that you don't have it. Hope that you win the appeal / complaint. I had no idea you could even do that. Did you have to email them?
Glad you are enjoying your time here! The users make the community, so I will also be more active here :)
rachelrae2003
Posted On Oct 30, 2025@JustMegawatt Thanks, me too! I am close with them relationship wise, but it's a complicated situation. They have four kids still at home, well three at home one still reliant on them financially partially-in college. And my dad is already stressed enough about work and trying to provide for that many people with how expensive everything is, I don't want to ask them unless it is an absolute last option. I know if it really came down to it and I was about to be homeless no way out they would likely let me move back in with them, but only as a last resort/last option as they have a lot to pay for as is.
Yea me too, I always did the "New Year's Resolutions" But those feel kind of shallow to me, I feel like since December is the Winter Solsticc it is the perfect time to reflect on the past year and prepare for the new one! :)
Yea I agree doctors need to be more wholistic-meaning they should take time to look at the whole person instead of just checking off a list of symptoms and prescribing medications. You have no energy? Depressed. You are restless? Anxiety. When there are a lot of reasons someone could have no energy or be restless like ADHD or fibromyalgia.
They had me on all sorts of things, HEAVY doses of lithium (those side effects were terrible) one that started with an R that made me feel like a robot (idk how else to describe it, I was zoned OUTTT LOL) They had me on several SSNRIs at once usually sometimes paired with an antipsychotic (I never had psychosis but they said it is supposed to "boost" the SSNRI. I am now seeing that they don't actually even know how SSNRIs work, which is fucking crazy given how assured they were that they knew exactly how it worked) I hope so as well, I wrote a written complaint/appeal and sent it in mail yesterday.
My strategy is basically going to be this. I can request an amendment once every few months. So I am going to wait a few months and request again, get denied again probably, write a complaint/ appeal again. And just go through this process every few months until the doctor gets so tired of my shit they decide their pride is no longer worth the extra paperwork 🤣🤣 LMAOOOOO listen I know I can't beat them money and lawyers wise, but I can use their weakness-laziness- to my advantage, and I KNOW these doctors hate paperwork so this is pretty much my strategy for this thing.
Thank you! Yea me too, I am going to try to write on here every day, even if not a post-writing a comment at least.
You must be signed in to post a comment!