Feeling hollow

2026 is also fucked for me.

It's 2:37 am when I'm typing this.

Should I be asleep right now? Yeah absolutely.

But the Best way to describe what I feel right now?

Hollow.

Empty.

Tired but not able to sleep.

Tired but the tears don't stop coming.

Again it's relationship stuff. Hear me out.

You stay up till 2 am wanting to text your significant other because you miss them, miss talking to them even if it's just texting, miss them because they've been really busy, and you're very excited to see that they do actually respond so they are up. But they say they're going to sleep soon and go offline a few texts later just when the surface level everyday chat is ending and genuine conversation is blooming. What is that supposed to feel? Cause right now I just don't know what to feel anymore. I want to talk to him bad so I asked him if he'll be able to text me during the day he said he'll see he'll not be free tho. I understand he's busy but it still hurts kind of, but more i feel pretty hollow. Like I'm just laying on bed hugging my pillow, my tears won't stop flowing but I don't feel fully hurt, something feels hollow inside. Empty. I wanna tell him so so badly "I know you didn't ask me to stay up and do the things I do for you, I do them because i love you, but I also need to feel loved sometimes and you're not meeting my needs in any way." But I fear I'll ruin his trip. He works hard in school and deserves this break. I don't want to ruin it but I'm miserable. 3 days of 2026 and I've cried myself to sleep two nights, this might me the third. I don't know what to do anymore.