Lots of Random Updates

9:31 PM

What a week. I cannot do Unity tutorials for several hours straight anymore. On Sunday, I noticed and felt my eyes becoming weaker and blurrier the more I used Unity. Its interface for MacOS is the worst, it is not resizable, and the fonts are extremely tiny. There are a lot of issues with Unity on MacOS actually, but they have no intent on fixing them, since its userbase on MacOS is small. There are many threads on the topic of the UI being too small to see on MacOS, such as this one:

https://discussions.unity.com/t/unable-to-read-text-in-unity-editor-due-to-font-size/822494

Or this one

https://discussions.unity.com/t/editor-ui-scaling-in-macos/896267

So since Sunday, I haven't used Unity at all, but my eyes still haven't improved or recovered. Prior to this eyesight has been steadily improving for a while, a few months ago I could see fairly well without my glasses.I could put on a Quest VR headset for example, and actually see what the text says on the different menus. Since starting Unity, I think my eyesight became worse again, and it's gotten to my worst levels again. Although what I experienced is not as bad, it's like how they describe a "crash" or "relapse" in the different chronic disease forums, things were getting better, and then all of a sudden, craaaaaaash.

My eyesight being terrible has been a self-fulfilling prophecy, although it has not changed at all in the past roughly 10 years. In 7th grade for no reason at all, I told people that I was "blind as a bat" even though my eyesight back then wasn't bad at all. I had pretty good vision back then, I would say probably -2 on the diopters. It's bad vision, but not terrible. I just thought "blind as a bat" was a cool thing to say, so I would tell people that. And my eyesight became worse, until it got to like -4.25, or maybe even -4.75, I don't remember, but it has been that way since ~10 years now, because I know how to not make it worse.

I am on the computer for literally 12 hours a day most days, and I spend a lot of time reading. yet my eyesight has never gotten worse all this time. Because again, I know how to not make it worse. I also know how to improve vision, something most people don't even believe is possible except it is. I've already done it hence how my vision became good enough that I could read Quest VR menu text when previously I could not, it would be too blurry. I can improve my vision any time since I know how to restore it naturally, and yet, it takes effort. Just like how we all know how to become fit and we all know how to get straight A's, these activities take effort. It takes effort to exercise, it takes effort to study, it takes effort to improve your vision.

I do disparage myself that I am pathetic because despite having the knowledge, why don't I do what I need to? Why do I procrastinate, why do I skip tasks entirely, why do I laze around? It was in 9th grade that I got straight A's (except 1 A- or B+) while procrastinating on every task. Some tasks I procrastinated on extremely last minute, as in, an hour before it was due such as the class right before it was due, yet I still got an A in all of those classes. From this, I picked up the habit of procrastinating last minute. It's stuck with me since, and it's terrible in the adult world since I have no deadlines to do anything.

I don't have any deadlines to improve so-and-so, or do so-and-so. I can go at my own pace, I can do anything I want to. So I can procrastinate on things indefinitely, and it hurts me.

1:33 AM (of Thursday, January 8th, 2026)

I got distracted for a bit.

Yeah so as much as I want to learn Unity, right now I'm not able to due to my vision.

The other day I bought a bunch of different Pokemon cards. I was bored. Maybe I shouldn't have.

There is also a new vegan anime out now called The Darwin Incident. I think it's really good.

Anyway. That's basically been my week so far. I've had that and work.