Aug. 11, 2020

Another good day except for one thing

11:54 PM

Nice! Today has been another good day just like yesterday. I got everything done again that I wanted to get done, and arguably today was my most productive work day this entire month so far. There was just one big mistake I made today that I regret.

I fell asleep last night at around 1 AM? Something like that. I woke up this morning a bit before 7 AM, and then I worked on updating the Habitica challenges that I host right away. That took about an hour to update them all, and then I worked on the same video topic I worked on yesterday.

This time I was able to state my idea a bit more clearly, and I was able to do two takes. However, I still wasn't satisfied fully with both takes, and so I'll record my final ones tomorrow before uploading them. The reason I didn't like my takes is because I record the video in one straight go, no editing or cuts or anything, and at times I would fumble what I meant to say, and those tiny mistakes make me want to redo the entire thing again.

After working on those things, I started with my actual work. Yeah I just came in with the same mindset as yesterday, and everything went well. I got a good amount of work done throughout the day, and like I said in the first paragraph, today was probably my most productive work day this entire month.

After work is when I made the mistake. I accidentally messed up again. Well it's hard to say it's by accident, but I did it without wanting to do it. I felt really bad and regretful afterwards, but the urge to mess up was so strong that it was seriously hard for me to resist. The urge is getting weaker though. I made it almost 48 hours without messing up, but I messed up my streak before it reached two days.

After that I wallowed in my regret for a bit, and I looked up other "failures" I could relate to, though they're not really failures. One of the most regretful guys is probably Ronald Wayne, another is Nolan Bushnell. There's a lot of others, other than just these two. I can name a lot of people off teh top of my head who are just as regretful if not more regretful than these guys, there is basically a neverending list. What fascinates me is I've been there, I've had great opportunities in front of me that I never took advantage of. What do I have in common with these guys and how do I not make the same mistake again?

I thought iabout it as I walked tonight, because I had only taken about 3000 steps throughout the day, and so I had to walk outside just a few minutes ago to get my final 7000 steps in (I started walking at around 10:50 PM and just got back recently). It dawned on me what my mistake was, and how I can improve for the future and not make the same mistake. There are several times in recent memory that I can recall, where I made the worst mistakes imaginable, and I think it's going to take several more walks to figure it all out, but yeah I really regret some things in my life and I have some ideas on how not to make the same mistakes again.

Another failure I also reviewed was Gary Kildall. He is not a failure in my eyes, he did everything right, it was external circumstances out of his control that got him. I think if he were alive today, he'd have a legacy up there with Steve Jobs, whom I think is the greatest businessman of all time. He has created the largest company in the world, and he was the CEO or Chairman of at least 3 different companies (Apple, NeXT, and Pixar), and each company he ran became extremely successful. NeXT is not well known, but it's on NeXT computers where the World Wide Web and the Internet were created, and all Mac OS X versions have their foundation with the NeXT operating system.

Gary Kildall is not well known either, but he created the first disk operating system, which is just a fancy way of saying it's an operating system that can run on a hard drive, and it's what every operating system is based on today. So yeah this guy is one of the smartest people in history, but he was put in the list of biggest historical "failures" because the rumor goes that he was flying when IBM knocked on his door, and when he wasn't there they made a deal with Bill Gates instead, who at the time was running an unknown company. The actual story is that he was there for the meeting, he did arrive late because he was flying, but he was at the meeting and made a deal with IBM. How he was destroyed, was that his operating was sold for 6x the price of Microsoft's operating system, and he didn't set these prices, IBM did (they probably gauged that CP/M was 6x better than MS-DOS), but no one bought it so that's how he failed.

Anyway, it might have been due to regret, but Gary got so drunk one night that he fell and died. True story, that's how he died. He apparently became an alcoholic late in his life, again, probably from regrets as he saw Bill Gates become the world's richest man using the invention he created (disk operating system). His peers that knew him though say that he had absolutely no regrets, but it's hard for me to argee with that when he became an alcoholic and died. I have my own addiction of messing up, I know I do it tto cope with something, to feel good temporarily, he probably felt something stronger than my own regrets which compelled him to drink.

Anyway that was my day today. Overall it was a nice day. I like that I was again able to complete everything in my Streaks, except for messing up, which I did by accident. Anyway let's make tomorrow better.

Written by JustMegawatt

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