9:10 PM (of Saturday, September 19th 2020)
Today is Friday, September 18th 2020 and it's one day after my birthday, which I didn't really do much with. I wrote a lot about the plans I had for my birthday that night, but what ended up happening was that I completed my homework, and then I played around and did some other online activities that were just a complete waste and unfulfilling in the end.
Anyway today is Friday and a new day, and so I tried to do much better today than yesterday. At work I was able to complete a good amount of items that were on my task list, some issues were resolved, and I received good feedback for some of the work I had done. That's always a good thing. I get anxious sometimes about not being enough or not doing enough, even though I do my work completely fine and all.
After work I had no homework due or any other responsibilities I actually cared for. I procrastinated on some of my own personal tasks again and I ended up just going on Discord and chatting with people and doing pretty wasteful activities.
I should have gone outside tonight, but I didn't. I think I made some chickpeas this afternoon and ate that, that was awesome. It's been a while since I had those and they were just sitting around. My dad brought some avocados as well.
I have eaten all 200 of the Clif bars that arrived at this point, and I ate probably like 5-6 a day. Yeah that's a lot. I have gained a bit of weight due to that, although I started gaining it very very slowly. At first I would eat like 5-6 Clif Bars a day, along with a bunch of other foods, and nothing happened to my weight. It was just overtime that I started to gain it. I mean yeah now I have to lose it. Combine those Clif bars with all the other food I eat in a day, and combine that with me not doing any exercises for over a month, and that's a recipe for weight gain.
I dunno. I know there's a bunch of things I need to correct in my life again. Nothing's totally wrecked or anything like that, nothing in my life is extremely bad or anything, just on a personal level with my habits and activities I feel like really need to be changed if I want to make something of myself.
Happy way belated birthday, my friend! Was it really a waste, or did you have a good time? Make sure you have free time for self-care, it's very important to mental health! I can definitely relate to worries about not being enough or not doing enough...or the opposite, being too much for other people. Just do things at your own pace and make changes slowly to your habits maybe, until they are tweaked to the point you are comfortable with however you are. I thought you weren't going to eat the clif bars for some reason?
@iyazo Thanks! I think my birthday was alright. It went by just like any other day really, other than being woken up early by my parents to say happy birthday. I also only got 1 birthday greeting on my cell phone, which is alright I guess but probably well below average haha. No one else really knows when my birthday is since I don't have a facebook and I didn't bother telling anyone. It's pretty normal that my birthday comes by and no one says happy birthday except my parents haha.
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