Overdue Update

I haven't really been able to keep up with my illness journal lately because of these keyboard issues. The only way to get the keys working is to heat the laptop up. I've been able to do that somewhat by blocking the vents in the back while I type somewhere else, but it's taking over an hour sometimes for it to be hot enough to activate the keys, and if I stop typing (like to switch to another site), the keys just stop working again.

The more reliable way is to run Sims because it gets the laptop hot in a couple minutes. I know it's working when I can use the home/end keys to raise lower the walls. Those keys never work unless I run Sims. But then when I switch out of the game, I have a limited amount of time before the keys stop working again as the laptop cools down without the game running. Ugh. I looked into replacing the keyboard. I can get a new one for like $25 on Amazon, but the replacement process is complicated and delicate. And has about 60 tiny screws involved. I kid you not. The keyboard itself has 30 screws plus all the others just to get to the keyboard because the whole laptop has to be taken apart to reach it.

I built our desktop from scratch so I know how to put things together, but I'm just worried about getting everything put back together correctly. I pulled the battery out to check to connections to the keyboard before and that made me nervous because the connections are so delicate.

The other option is to get a USB keyboard which is great as a backup (if I'm sitting at my actual desk... there's no room on my little table for another keyboard) but I bought a laptop for a reason. My husband said we'd save up and look for another laptop, but that would be a couple years away. I just got this thing in like 2018. And I did look at Amazon to see what else is out there. I didn't find anything I wanted. I paid $1300 for this one (splurged to get something with a dedicated graphics card so I could play games on it). Sure there were laptops out there with better processors and graphics card, but none of them had the 4k monitor like mine or they didn't have as much memory or only came with a SSD which was 500GB and no extra hard drive (which is not enough when I have thousands of pictures) or worse yet, the keyboard has no number pad. That was one of my main wants when I upgraded to this laptop because my first one lacked a number pad and it freaking sucked.

I looked at the Dell site and found none of their newer laptops have number pads. Why? What do they have against them?

So, yeah, I want to keep this laptop as it runs pretty good still, has great resolution when watching shows and stuff (it looks so much better than our 1080p TVs) which means replacing the keyboard.

Anyway, that's the reason I can't update like I want. I try to get the keys working by rambling on my other journal until they work, but after and hour or more of that, I don't have the energy to write an actual journal entry here. The only reason I'm getting this done today is because I ran Sims for five minutes (but that risks distracting me and then nothing gets done).

I'm doing better than my last update. The Amazon/Paypal thing got cleared up. Like two days later, I got a refund for $161.80. And all but one of the gifts I bought has arrived. The last one should be here today or tomorrow, I think. Now I just need stocking stuffers which I mostly get at Dollar Tree. Christmas is looking up. The 19yo and 18yo already got a sort of gift. We had these two Bluetooth speakers that mysteriously appeared on our porch months ago except we didn't know what was in the bag. Everyone thought it was just trash someone left on the porch. I remember seeing it back in May but only opened it in August when I cleaned the porch. Even though they sat in the rain for months, both speakers worked so they each got one. There was also a $25 prepaid card that the 14yo is claiming. And $40 in quarters.

We literally have no idea where this came from or who left it. It's been sitting the garage since this summer. Weird. But I told the kids the speakers would count towards their Christmas gifts and they were fine with that. Which reminds me... I didn't actually get the 19yo anything else because he said that about the speakers. Oh well. He'll understand. I have to see if the 20yo is still going to give me $100 cash. I asked her for it before I got the money from my friend. So she doesn't know about the other gifts I bought. I wanted to put $20 in each stocking.

The girls are also getting a FireStick for their TV. The 19yo brought home a TV his friend didn't want which I got. My husband ordered me a new Fire Stick then got a newer model for himself (we don't have cable) and the girls are getting his old one. Right now they watch through and old xboxx 360 that has sketchy internet connection.

I'm feeling better about Christmas. There will be gifts under the tree this year. Not just from me, either. The 20yo has some for everyone (or at least some of us) and the 18 wants to go to Walmart to get gifts with her $40. Not sure she could get.

I just need to finish the cross stitch project which is the 20yo's gift and the ornaments I was crocheting/knitting. It's a lot to do and some days, I don't get much done because I have to help the 14yo with her math homework or (like yesterday) people just keep coming in for hours even when I tell them I'm busy.

I'm also still tired all the time. I'm more alert than I have been in a long time so I can focus on the cross stitch, but I still don't have a lot of energy. The other day, I managed to load the dishwasher, clean the sink and make coffee. By the time I got the dishwasher started, I was exhausted and just went upstairs. But I think it's a little better than it used to. I'm mostly used to the cpap mask now although I had a panic attack the other night because it felt like I could breathe. I tried to stay calm, breathe normally, and convince myself I was fine, but it kept getting worse until I decided I didn't need to torture myself and took the mask off. I laid there for five minutes breathing freely until I felt calm then put the mask back on and forced myself to think about something else (story ideas). Eventually, I fell asleep. Now I have anxiety when I go to put the mask on that I didn't have before. I did manage to not have a panic attack last night, but I was nervous. I've been using it for two weeks now.

TL;DR: I'm feeling better little by little. Christmas is looking good this year. The money thing sorted out so I'm not freaking out anymore. I still need to fix my keyboard.