Dec. 14, 2020

14 - 12 - 20

Do you ever get scared that people don't care as much as you do?

I know it's selfish to expect a gift back from someone after you give them a gift, but as someone whose love language is presents and who is extremely self conscious, getting a gift back, no matter how small, feels like a guarantee, a promise that they actually do enjoy your presence.

Anyways, I'm scared because I tried as hard as I could during this pandemic to give gifts to ALL of my friends and to give good gifts to my immediate family too. I don't even have any cash left to buy myself shampoo. I really wanted to show my appreciation to people in the only way I know how. And somehow, I am scared that my own family will give me back crappy cheap gag gifts, when I went and got them personalized, extremely thought-through, actually useful gifts that they had been expressing interest in throughout the entire year. I even made it easy for them to get me something I am sure to like and use, I created a wishlist with a shit ton of details. And what if my friends don't give me anything? Am I actually their friend? I know if I tell people about this fear they will call me selfish, since when you give a gift you should not expect anything in return, that is the nature of a gift. But I'm not asking for much, a small piece of origami, their leftover halloween candy they don't like, an old shirt they don't wear but think would match my aesthetic, a portion of a baked good.

Idk, I just don't want to feel like nobody is thinking about me or that nobody cares.

Written by ZED

Log in to Like
Log In to Favorite
Share on Facebook
Share on Twitter

You must be signed in to post a comment!