1/7/2021

Today I woke up from a series of short nightmares. It was almost 2pm... though I didn't fall asleep until after 4 or 5am because my insomnia has been pretty bad lately, even with my normal medications. I got up right away, ate, meditated, worked out, and did yoga. I found another instructor that I like that I think I'll be following along with.

I spent a lot of time just dissociating today and unable to focus on anything. It's a really awful feeling, but for me it's sometimes an unavoidable state. ...but what if it didn't have to be? I've thought about it before, but someone on the local LGBT discord who I was talking to convinced me I could do it- raise a service dog. So that's all that has been on my mind otherwise is how would I afford everything I would need to care for a dog on my budget. Sadly I may need to wait until after my current pets pass away. They're still young though, so nothing to worry about. That gives me plenty of time to save up though and look around.

I really need to get myself to work on selling things. Since my old phone has issues connecting to my computer I may just use my new tablet to help me sell things. I have to get on that. That would help me to save up, too. I still have a feeling it could be a slow process.

I spent some time last night and tonight doodling on my new tablet. I do like it for drawing, but I don't really have any ideas lately. I could draw them doing what I'm doing, but I'm never really doing anything....

I've noticed lately I'm becoming more withdrawn and isolated. I don't really know how to feel about it, I mean I know it's not a good thing... I'm just not sure what else to do.