March 4, 2021


I've noticed now with online learning, I kind of lost my sense of discipline and energy. Procrastination and laziness got the best of me. Before, I was able to pass things on time. Now I find myself submitting requirements late. In addition, I am also unmotivated to do anything. This started last year, and it may have gotten worse. I can't seem to remember things anymore, so most of the time I don't study and would just open my notes or the search engine whilst taking quizzes. I don't know why I'm like this. I used to do well and was a bit competitive back then. Maybe I'm in the wrong strand? The school? The environment? Or somehow I do not like the situation we're in?

But I kinda like how we're at the comfort of our homes, since I do not like to be around people a lot (coz' im introverted). Also I feel lonely at most times, even though there's lots of people there xd. I like to be alone, but not lonely haha.

I might take a gap year next school year though, I'm kind of considering it. However, I've applied in some universities already, and I'm almost done with passing my requirements. One of which I had to even pay for the application fee, since it's required.

I am not sure yet if I will be taking a gap year. I also worry on what will be my parents' reaction if I do tell them. But if I were to take a gap year, I want to discover and explore new things. I want to improve myself on certain areas that I lack (like public speaking, confidence, etc.). I also would like to know about investing, so that maybe I could push through a business, or perhaps just future savings lol. And also attend webinars related to self-development, drawing, animation, etc. This would also give me an opportunity to find what I really want to do in my life, to rest, and to prepare myself to face another step in my life.

Written by s_t_4_r

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Posted On Mar 05, 2021

@AsianNut Thank you😊 I'll try to find time for it.

Posted On Mar 08, 2021

Online learning sucks, friend. Well, it's got its pros and cons, but there are a couple cons that just out way the pros. Like, it is nice that you can work on your work at anytime that you want and don't have to actually interact with anyone, but keeping up the care for the classes and sometimes even remembering that the classes/certain assignments exist becomes difficult. Self dedication and motivation are hard things to hold onto. I know, I've been doing online classes since late high school.
The search engine thing is just something that you have found to be effective. You're human, taking shortcuts, finding loopholes, taking the easy street is just what we do when we either want things easy or don't care. And online classes are SO easy to not give a rat's ass about because there are no authority figures, there are no classmates, and there is no true schedule. That's why you got to make that stuff for yourself.
For one, get out of the house at a set schedule, pretend like you're going to class and find someplace that'll be both studious and pandemic safe. You gotta use this time not for play, but only for school stuff. Set a timeframe and stick to it no matter how bored ya get, don't leave early but find something instead. Hopefully, you'll get the urge to fill that time. And, with the googling, I'm not saying to stop that because truthfully, it's no big. However, I am going to say that you should try to give yourself the opportunity to answer the questions first. Make it a game, like Jeopardy or those trivia games, at least that why you'll get to find out what you do and don't know. Also, if you have friends, get them on your schedule and do a study group where you all have to finish at least one thing together. You guys don't have to have the same class, but it is nice to have a support group.
I'm not sure about a gap year, but it is a nice idea. You could get a job and earn up some nice money. Try retail. It also has its suckiness, but it will get you in an environment with people. It helped my anxiety a bit. I still get nervous, but there's more confidence. Oh, also, another thing that might help is a community service club. Think about it and look around, they always need a helping hand.
Getting discouraged happens and it is so easy with isolation and online classes. You're fine, just bored and lonely (probably also lacking some vitamin D, which can lead to lower moods) and as I said discouraged. Either way, good luck man, you got this.

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